Posts

Showing posts from January, 2016

Puppy love...

Words from a Bird.  Day 31

Having made the decision that we were going to add to the family with another four legged fuzzball, it was down to me to cut through the dreadful puppy farmers which seem to be on every corner now, and find an Kennel Club assured breeder.

Percy came from one such breeder 5 minutes walk from us, but this time we had to go further afield to find the right dog. 

Of course, once the offspring knew we were heading off to choose a puppy, they all wanted to come with us. 

Daughter number 1: 'I'm coming with you' (Determination)
Son number 1: 'I'd like to come with you' (Optimism)
Daughter number 2: 'Me and James are coming' (Determination again, but with a dash of terrible grammar)
Son number 2: 'I'd like to come, and so would Lucy, but I might be working' (Optimism, rapidly followed by thinly veiled disappointment)

So the husband was calculating how many cars would be needed to transport the whole tribe plus friends do…

H.A.P.P.Y.

Words from a Bird.  Day 30

Now that Nanny's funeral is almost upon us, family members are starting to head north and south to come together for the final goodbye on Monday.  From my point of view, this heralds the arrival of all of my children from various homes and universities. 

Son number 1 and daughter number 2 were the first to arrive, staggering through the front door hauling behind them a sack of dirty washing the like of which I haven't seen since Will Smith dragged an alien-laden parachute in Independence Day. 

One load made it into the washing machine, the other as far as the kitchen floor, lying on the tiles like a wounded animal.  In fact, I am sure I spotted a pulsing beat a couple of times, so I reckon that the washing will make its own way to the washing machine if I leave it there long enough.  I am now wondering whether there actually is an alien in there!

Daughter number 1 was extremely hacked off to see that the middle two had already tipped up, as this me…

Cruella de Vil, Cruella de Vil....

Words from a Bird.  Day 29

I come across many people during the course of my day, some of which happen to chance upon my ramblings.  Most people are too embarrassed to admit that they actually read it, (let's face it, if my blog were a magazine, it would probably be stored under the counter, only to be furtively pulled out and put into a brown paper bag with a knowing wink).  These people rarely mention it, preferring to talk about anything else other than what I have written about that day.  Looking back on some of the subjects I have covered to date (blood pressure, dust bunnies, needlework, Tom Hardy, mops and orchids to mention a few) I can't say that I entirely blame them.  In fact, I sometimes catch them looking at me wondering whether something they say will trigger a subject the next day.  It makes people cautious.....

But some days, and these are the ones I like best, someone will come up to me and usually say one of the following comments:

'Your blog really made …

Baby love...

Words from a Bird.  Day 28.

A very big decision was reached in our house last night.  For the last two years, yes, you heard me right, two years, I have been talking the husband into having a second dog. 

Between you and me, I am not too sure why I want another dog.  When put on the spot by the husband as to my reasons for wanting another four legged friend, this is what I managed to come up with:

1.  He'll be a brother for Percy
2.  She'll be a girlfriend for Percy (This is interchangeable with reason 1)
3. We'll still have a dog when Percy goes over Rainbow Bridge (the entrance to Doggy Heaven for   those non dog-owners among you)
4. He will play with Percy (cue many facebook clips showing old dog/young dog playing with sock)
5. Percy gets lonely (this is called underhand emotional blackmail)

So, after some thought, here are the more honest reasons:

1. I love puppies.
2. I really love puppies.

But enough of the lists, the brutal truth is that at the age of 52, as the la…

Bye bye, Baby.....

Words from a Bird....Day 27

I have watched almost all of my children head off to university over the years.  It has been relatively pain free each time, and on the odd occasion there has even been a discreet fist pump as we waved goodbye from the car - once again, no names.....

However, what has always made it easier was the fact that there were always three, two or one of the ankle biters left at home, so empty nest syndrome was in reality, merely more spacious nest syndrome.  Vacated rooms started to have new names, such as 'Dumping Ground' and 'Percy's Bedroom'.

Yesterday saw the start of the end as I schlepped son number 2 across to Essex for a tour of his chosen home for three years from September.  'Hope a bloke takes us round', said number 2, 'I'll want to know all about the nightlife.  And please don't let on you watch TOWIE or ask stupid questions...'  Apparently, as I am north of 50 (his phrase not mine) this is an age-inappropriat…

I wasn't expecting that...

Words from a Bird.  Day 26

Listening to Ian Dury singing 'Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll' this afternoon, it crossed my mind as to how old I was before I realised that it was childhood polio which crippled him, rather than being an affected pose for stage purposes.  I suppose I would have been around 15 when he appeared on Top of the Pops, so it set me wondering how many other things I was unaware of when growing up.

We might as well get Boy George out of the way first.  To start with, I didn't realise that he was a fella, and when that particular penny finally dropped, it didn't even cross my mind that he might bat for the other side. There were many others who also failed to trigger my 'Gaydar'.  Larry Grayson - frequent use of the name Everard should have been a clue.  Then there was Mr Humphries of 'I'm free' fame, Liberace (say no more), and  Kenny Everett. Kenny was a tricky one, alternating between Sid Snot (macho, leather, studs) to Cupid S…

Where did you get that hat?

Words from a Bird.  Day 25

Today was one of the days that as a family we have been dreading since Nanny left us last week.  Armed with bin bags and doughnuts we headed to Nanny's flat, with plans to clear and sort as much as we could.  The aim was to provide the wonderful Sue Ryder home with as much as possible, thus providing funds to give some other family the love and care which we received while Nanny was there. 

One room at a time, we opened drawers and cupboards, folded and sorted clothes, marvelled at the sheer amount of shoes and handbags one person could own, and as for the hats, well, there was one for every occasion.  At one point, as I looked around the room, all five of us were wearing a hat of some description.  Unfortunately, varying head sizes meant that four of us had them perched on top like a lookout station, while one of us resembled Freddie Parrott and was asking who had switched the lights out!

When it came to the airing cupboard, the other four had all deci…

Red Light Spells Danger..

Words from a Bird.  Day 24

Today, the husband received his full results back from the Health Test which he had done a couple of weeks ago.  I should have known that it was good news, as he couldn't wait to thrust it under my nose as I walked through the door.

Barely giving me time to take off my coat, let alone get the vari-focals out of my bag, he started saying, 'See!  See!  I'm fit!  I'm healthy!  I got greens for everything!' 

At this point, you are probably as much in the dark as I was, so feigning interest (and sight) I replied, 'That's brilliant, let me have a look then'.  As I was still holding three shopping bags, my handbag, a pair of gloves and my car keys, he had to hold the booklet, turning the pages slowly.  Admittedly, he was thoughtful, holding it more than an arm's length away as he had spotted I was not wearing the glasses.  However, I still couldn't make out the small print, but I could recognise the easy 'Let's assum…

Flowers in the Window.....

Words from a Bird.  Day 23.

I had flowers delivered today, sent from a wonderful friend.  It's been a long time since anyone sent me flowers (husband, take note, offspring, tell dad) so they were a lovely surprise.

At a time when you are lost, both literally and metaphorically, it's fantastic when something happens to remind you how beautiful life can be.  Even when you are in the middle of a maelstrom of  misery, irrationally belting out an Elvis Presley song (If I Can Dream), sobbing your heart out and ironing (I am a woman...I multi-task) it is the simplest of things that pull you back.

The sight of these eight stemmed orchids, their magenta petals entwined around each other, brings me such joy.   They sit on my desk, as close to me as I can get them, so all I have to do is lift my eyes slightly to see them.  Every time I do, they let me know that there are people out there who love me, people who understand what is feels like to lose someone so undeniably special.  They re…

Lessons in love.....

Words from a Bird.  Day 22

As from today I am no longer somebody's grandchild - this is a role which I have held for over 52 years, and I believe I have fulfilled the job well.  If the job of grandchild came with a handbook, it would read probably something like this......

The Baby/Toddler

1. Always be ill on the night Nanna and Grandad babysat (extra points if you are at their house rather than at home)
2. Eat all the strawberries off their plants, leaving none for the grown ups (see 1)
3. Request shoulder rides (especially important when leaving the beach after a day in the sand)
4. Demand that your jam jars on string be filled with the best fish bait ever.....every three minutes

The Teenager

1. Eat grandparents out of house and home on a regular basis.
2. Holiday with them in caravan parks with giggle-worthy names (Sandy Balls springs to mind)
3. Wander round car boot sale, after car boot sale, after car boot sale, after car boot sale..........
4. Dress inappropriately, but ex…

She's gone.......

Words from a Bird.  Day 21

In a room filled with love, laughter and daft memories, my nanny left us today, gradually slipping away as we surrounded her with as much joy as we could muster. 

It's a funny old game, dying.  We have known this was coming for some time.  In fact, over the last two and a half years, Nanny has been playing the 'Will she?  Won't she?' game, in an attempt to discredit the entire medical profession.  This time, however, we all knew there would be no 'Get out of Jail' card for her, because the time for leaving was here. 

It doesn't seem to matter that you know it's going to happen; every bit of rational argument tells you that this is it, there will be no miraculous recovery.  But part of you, the part that's not quite ready to say goodbye, still hangs on, willing breath to follow breath as she sleeps. 

So we sit around her quietening bed, drawing strength from each other, knowing that time is running out. 

And then it doe…

There's a hole in my bucket.....

Words from a Bird.  Day 20

As you have probably figured out by now, my family is incredibly close.  We are a rare breed, often choosing to spend time together through pleasure rather than just duty.  The hours spent around Nanny's hospital bed are proving to be a quite a special time in a strange way.  We can talk uninterrupted, covering all manner of subjects. 

Today proved to be one of those times, as my mum, aunt and I sat round the bed, nursing cups of tea. We had spoken about Nanny, and had updated other family members about how she was.  Having done our equivalent of Nanny Housekeeping, it was time to move on to other subjects.

Now my aunt reads my blog faithfully, being a modern, professional woman, completely up to speed with technology (she even answers her mobile when you ring it!); my mother however is a bit of a Luddite when it comes to anything with a password (Kindle lasted 17 days before it was retired to the dresser drawer).  Apparently, you can't use a bookma…

That don't impress me much.....

Words from a Bird.  Day 19

As a happily married lady of the more mature kind, the world of the single person and dating is one that I can find quite puzzling at times.  In days gone by, if a girl was after a boy, you tried some or all of the following: 'my best friend fancies your best friend', blind dates, bike shed, money(it was only once for goodness sake), school disco, kiss chase or flashing your navy blues at playtime.  It would appear that life is not so simple these days....

Several of my very close friends (names have been withheld to protect the not so innocent) are currently looking for their Mr Right.  A couple of them would settle for Mr You'll Do, but that's a story for another day.  So back to the ones who are after their happy ever afters with a gentleman.  How do you go about it these days?  Well of course, there are dating sites a-plenty, all promising to listen very carefully as to what kind of man you're after, and make the perfect match.  I'…

Me and you, and a dog named who?

Words from a Bird.  Day 18

Raising money for a good cause always makes me feel rather humble.  Today's trip to the windswept beaches of West Wittering was no different.  We were walking on behalf of a heroic little Mini Schnauzer who had drawn massive attention to the atrocious puppy trade in this country and also abroad.  Money raised helps those ex-breeding dogs, introducing them to human kindness...every dog's right.

And so it was that my sister, the husband and I trekked down the A34 towards West Wittering.  We had packed for an Arctic excursion, not too sure what would greet us after the early morning snow showers.  I did feel that packing Kendal Mint Cake was erring on the side of over cautious, but hey ho.....

After several pit stops (this is what happens when you travel with two middle aged ladies) we arrived at the car park.....it was absolutely packed with 80 schnauzers and their owners, all doing their bit to raise as much money as possible.  Percy was in doggy heav…

Surprise, surprise!

Words from a Bird.  Day 17

My wonderful husband never ceases to surprise me.  While having dinner last night, he came out with this priceless gem, 'Well, I love sewing'.  Let me put this into context.  I was telling him about another lovely friend who reads these ramblings; she'll know I'm talking about her.  She had a small tear in her jumper, and I asked her if she had anything to mend it.  She didn't, but apparently her husband was fairly nifty with a needle and thread.  So our conversation over dinner had started about male/female sex-appropriate activities.  Obviously, sewing was a woman's job?  Well apparently not.

The husband then went on to describe, in quite graphic detail,  the case he had made out of that strange yellow material with pre-cut holes in it.  Apparently, he had mastered running and cross stitch, and was also pretty good with zig-zag and blanket.  There was also brief mention of a button hole for goodness sake.

So armed with this informat…

Let it go, let it go....

Words from a Bird....Day 16

After a particularly hard week, the husband suggested a night out at the cinema.  My choice.  Here's how the conversation went:

Me: Let's go and see The Revenant
Husband: What's that about?
Me: It's got Tom Hardy in it.
Husband: Yes..but what's it about?
Me: Snow....oh and a bear...and it's got Tom Hardy in it.
Husband: Anything else on?
Me: Nothing with Tom Hardy in.

You can probably see that nothing was going to tear me away from a good session of Hardy lusting, so settled down with goodies, the lights dimmed and thus started two and a half hours of my life that I shall never get back...

If you haven't see The Revenant as yet, look away now........ 

Oh the disappointment...I thought for the first hour or so that we were watching a foreign film, and was expecting subtitles to appear.  If only I had brought my TV remote, I would have been pressing 888 frantically.  Now I can forgive Tom Hardy most things (if I am honest, he coul…

Slipping through my fingers...

Words from a Bird.  Day 15

Not every day can be filled with humorous piff-paff and nonsense, and today is one of those days. 

Watching a life slowly slipping away is the hardest thing that any of us have to do, and that time has come with my beloved Nanny Joyce. 

At the fabulous age of 95, you're probably thinking that she's done rather well for herself, and it's about time that she started thinking about leaving us.  I do have this theory that she has had to live to this age to cram in all the things she's done with her life.  Bits would have had to have been left out if she'd only made it to 83.  Knowing her, it wouldn't have been the jazz band, motor bike or sailors that would have been omitted.  But the housework would have taken a real bashing, and my granddad would have worn a shirt resembling a street map most days. 

So we sit and we watch over her, and we watch over each other, caring and supporting through what has been, and will be a difficult time…

Climb every mountain...

Words from a Bird. Day 14

As my ankle biters wend their merry ways back to university and work after the Christmas break (their break, definitely not mine), I have gradually pulled my house into some semblance of normality.  No longer will I find the odd power cable snaking across the lounge floor, just waiting for me to come in with a cup of tea.  (This is the 21st century version of the bucket of water on the top of the door trick - works every time).  There are no more half drunk cans of coke littering windowsills and that useful area under the bed, you know the one, us adults call it 'the floor'.  Carpet becomes visible again after the southerly migration of odd socks to the washing machine (they make their own way down the stairs like a long line of lemmings) and there tends to be food in the fridge once more.

It was with trepidation therefore, that today I girded my loins and headed into son number 2's bedroom.  I had left his one till last, as I had naively assumed …

Bag lady..

Words from a Bird.  Day 13

After the thunderbolt from the Grim Reaper yesterday lunchtime, it set me thinking about whether there was something I should be doing to disguise or slow down the ravages of time.  Now I fully appreciate that a brown paper bag, although job appropriate, is not acceptable headwear for a middle aged woman... alternatives had to be found.

Which is how I found myself standing in front of the No 7 counter in Boots, staring in complete bewilderment at the shelf upon shelf of tubes of serums.  It wasn't that I didn't understand the concept, I had merely left the varifocals in the car, and couldn't see a damn thing.

'Can I help you Madam?'

Cue beautiful Indian lady, looking at me with some concern.  By the time she had finished speaking, I had managed to grab one of the tubes, pretending to read the small print (please God, it was the right way up).  A little hand laid gently on my arm, and a soft voice said, 'Not that one madam, that's …

The day the penny finally dropped..

Words from a Bird.  Day 12

A year ago today, I started my three week temporary assignment at Grundon.  Apart from a short respite in May, I am still in Binland, loving every minute.  My anniversary coincided with a new salesman joining our team; to welcome him aboard the wheelie bin of fortune, we all trolleyed down to the local hostelry for lunch, courtesy of the boss (or the boss's boss, not too sure..)

It was while we sitting around the table ordering from the menu, that I realised that I AM OLD.  My dignified, grown-up choice from the menu, Pollo e Panna with a lime and soda was taken first, followed by 'three burgers and chips, two lemonades and a coke, and can we have straws please'.  The gorgeous waitress, who obviously thought I was doing rather well for myself, surrounded by three young lads, was all eyelashes and heaving bosom while talking to them.  I am not sure if she thought I was their mother, or maybe their parole officer?  After all, they were all suited a…

Hello ducky..

Words from a Bird.  Day 11

The hunter/gatherer I happen to share my house with came home with a feathered offering on Saturday.  Two whole ducks.  The look I gave him said it all....

What do you expect me to do with them

Unless food comes into my house nestled in a carrier bag and sporting a bar code, I am not really interested.  Don't get me wrong, I like to know that the life my food has led prior to being incinerated has been a happy and full (if short) one, but far be it for me to take away the jobs of all those hard working people who get it from grass to trolley.

There have been occasions when I have prepared and eaten food that son number 2 has shot; my fillings could tell you a tale or two, that's for sure.  So I said to Bear Grylls, in his khaki safari suit, standing there clutching the aforementioned ducks, 'You pluck them, I'll cook them'. 

Now, on Saturday night, in conversation with three of the four children, I asked them if they wanted to come to…

We are family..

Words from a Bird...Day 10

I won the lottery last night.  Now, before you all reach for your pens/keyboards to construct a thoughtfully worded begging letter, it wasn't that lottery.  No, it was my nephew's birthday, and it was celebrated with style in an Italian restaurant (sounding all a bit Billy Joel there) in Virginia Water.

This had been secretly arranged by his beautiful girlfriend, and it was odd going to a family celebration that my sister or I hadn't organised.  Those of you that know us both will obviously be nodding right now, acknowledging are party planning prowess.  In fact, we are both still rather surprised that HRH didn't get in touch in 2012....

So, guests all assembled in restaurant, balloons wafting six feet above the table, celebrating the fact that James was 62 (finally twigged that they needed turning round after the main course) waiting for the guest of honour to turn up, my sister so looking forward to his face as he walked in.  How surprised …

That shrinking feeling..

Words from a Bird....Day 9

After receiving an invitation for a health check on his 50th birthday, the husband, at the ripe old age of 52 and three quarters finally plucked the courage up to make the appointment with the doctor.  I think that he had got fed up of daughter number 1 going on about how unhealthy he was.  This comment was usually triggered by a jacket potato with butter, mayonnaise, cheese, then more butter, so I could see where she was coming from. 

So, he had called the doctor to make the appointment, and was given the first available one....4th January 2016...the first day back to work after two weeks of eating anything that stopped moving long enough.  This was going to be interesting.

He seemed quite pleased when we talked about it later in the day.  'Nothing wrong with me.  She was very happy,  Everything seems fine'.  It then transpires that the only results back on the day were the blood pressure (a little high), the weight (a little over), the waist measu…

Hello?....

Words from a Bird Day 8

My mother has always told my sister and I that it is the 'quiet ones' we have to watch out for as we go through life.  She is obviously talking about men, so good motherly advice.  It would appear that this advice could just as easily have been applied to one of my many children....

Over the last few days, all four children (I use the term loosely) had been complaining about their mobiles, with each of their siblings calling them and then denying making the call.  Various theories had been put forward as to who was behind the prank calls, especially by daughter number 1. We had discussed poltergeist activity, a glitch on her dad's mobile phone after a lengthy group conversation with all of them and Apple.  When out of desperation (as if blaming ghosts and Apple weren't desperate enough), she started pointing the finger at daughter number 2, I said, 'But she's far too busy to muck around with prank calls.  She's got revision and some …

I believe I can fly..

Words from a Bird.  Day 7

It would appear that I am unable to fly.  Surprised?  Not as much as I was when I found myself in a crumpled heap in the middle of the field during a dog walk yesterday afternoon.  Dignity gone out of the window rapidly followed by a new pair of black opaques....oh the shame.  So glad that no one saw me delicately rising from the mud, flashing (large) drawers to whoever might have been unlucky enough to be pulling their curtains at 5.00 last night.  So, limping back to the house, rubbing at my muddy knees like a five year old who's fallen off her bike, I assumed that a hot bath and a couple of painkillers would set me right.  How wrong I was....

Having spent the whole night doing a one leg goose-step around the house, it was off to A&E in the morning...the sensible thing to do.  There are two reasons why I did this.  Firstly, there was a small chance that they might be able to help me in achieving a mid leg bend.  Secondly, it would mean escaping from…

Scratch that itch..

Words from a Bird.  Day 6

Having spent the last few days advert free, courtesy of Dexter Morgan and Netflix (Season 8, Episode 7 last night), I felt that I had managed to bypass those very particular adverts that you tend to see around this time of year.  However, this was until the husband demanded, yes demanded, that he be allowed to watch Two and a Half Men last night.  This from the man who earlier on had told me that we had 51 minutes spare to watch another episode of Dexter. This was do-able as long as we skipped the starting credits. (You can see that he has mastered another skill....fast forwarding).

So, we settled down to watch aforementioned sitcom about a good looking bloke living with a bit of an old woman (maybe that's why he likes it so much, there's things there that he can relate to), when the adverts came on.  Now, I don't mind the fact that DFS/SCS have sales on (same sale, similar sofa, different name) or that there are many, many places abroad where I s…

Wasteland..

Words from a Bird.  Day 5.

So, first day back at Binland today.  Wonderful to be amongst the skips and wheelie bins again.  Obviously talking (about) rubbish all over Christmas isn't quite the same. 

Younger son very happy to see me go this morning, as this gave him five hours of laying in bed surrounded by empty chocolate wrappers, watching Jeremy Kyle and the feral underbelly of British civilisation.  It makes him feel normal apparently....

Talking about Jeremy Kyle, I have long had a theory about the people that appear on the show.  I think that the interview process probably goes along these lines...

Q1  Do you, or have you, ever slept with/stolen from/fathered a child with/shared drugs with an inappropriate family member?
Q2  Do you only wear clothes borrowed from a much thinner friend?
Q3  Is your vocabulary limited, with four letters and one syllable being your limit?
Q4  Do you tend to slouch with your legs at a 90 degree angle? (Mostly applicable to males, but females ge…

The day of The Big Purple One..

Words from a Bird.  Day 4. 

Having many of our children at home over Christmas always brings new discoveries, some of which I have historically wished had remained undiscovered.  However, this year, it was Netflix.  Now, for the husband, this was an absolute revelation.  NO ADVERTS!  So, 17 episodes of Dexter later, life at number 35 has come to a complete standstill.  The lounge curtains remain unopened all day, the dog is unfed (along with the remaining child in the house who has driven off foraging for food around the fleshpots of Wallingford).  The husband seems to have lost all use of his legs, and has paused Dexter on a couple of occasions to suggest a takeaway, oh and one of those snuggle blankets advertised in the Mail on Sunday's supplement.  He is well and truly hooked and may need to be prised off the sofa with the promise of the last two 'Big Purple Ones' from the Quality Street tub.

As the children flee the constraints of family life once more, leaving the yo…

It's like this...

Words from a Bird.  Day 3.  Since the announcement of the new Star Wars film, I have had to watch the husband skip excitedly from foot to foot in anticipation of two and a half hours of joy.  You will note that we have not been so quick off the mark in going to see this....there is a very good reason. 

During the early part of the 21st century, possibly over a span of three years, I spent many a hair-pulling hour trying to explain to the husband that the first trilogy was in fact the second trilogy, whereas the second trilogy (the first) was the prequel to the first trilogy (the second).  I think I had just about got this explained to him,  had taken a deep breath and filed it away deeply in an area of my brain with a padlock.  Till yesterday.....

So, settled down in our seats, the story unfolds quite neatly then the husband turns to me and says in a knowing voice....."I bet that kid they're talking about is Luke Skywalker".....Cue ten seconds of fervent whispering as I…

Where did you go?

Words from a Bird....Day 2.

First day of the new year finds me laid prostrate on the couch, mourning the loss of my waistline.  I am wondering whether elasticated waistbands are something that is acceptable to a 52 year old?  Probably not, so I will have to make do with the vacuum knickers and a discreetly released top button for the time being.  This situation will improve of course; my mum has always said that the quicker you put it on, the quicker you lose it.  After the New Year's Eve binge, I reckon I should be back down to my fighting weight at around 10.27 this morning.....fingers crossed (well, sort of laid next to each other, can't quite get one over the other just yet...)

So, going back to yesterday, I did haul my sorry carcass on a rather long walk with the husband and dog.  Of course, having checked with my new Fitbit (this is a pedometer, not some handsome Personal Trainer) I was able to confirm to the husband that we had walked far enough to justify a bacon sandw…

Please allow me to introduce myself....

Words from a Bird, Day 1.

So, I don't know what made me say it....one minute I was singing Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey live on the radio to unsuspecting listeners, the next I was telling the world (well approximately 1000, less those still in bed/at the sales/listening to some other station, which probably brings it down to 47) about my New Year's resolution to up my game on the humorous (readers' word, not mine) holiday blogs which I had written over the course of last year.  So here we go...

My last night of 2015 was spent with my long-suffering husband, my beloved sister Kelly and her friend (Mr H) at the local casino, something we have done for the last three years.  A lot has been send about previous forays into this establishment, usually regarding the fact that I am the one who always wins.  Much pressure was placed on my shoulders as they were all wanting to give me their money to bet with, and then split whatever I made.  Well, if this had actually happen…