The husband returned to work yesterday. My house is festooned with virtual bunting, and I have been quietly going about my business putting everything back to where I like it. In fact, I've gone the extra mile and changed some other things round. Let's see how he likes it when he opens his office door and finds I've converted it to a Prosecco fridge. That'll teach him to mess with my semi skimmed...
Another two pounds of ugly fat disappeared this week, which set me thinking. My BMI? What would that be now? Having stumbled across various pages including one offering me flights to Oslo and others flogging gym membership, diet club membership etc etc, I finally went with the voice of reason and accessed the NHS site.
It all looked rather incongruous, and I did really well with the sex/date of birth information, and then it went onto my height and weight. The word 'metric' initially put the fear of God up me, (do you know how tall you are in centimetres?) but having realised that by pressing another button, I could convert it all to old money, it was all systems go, and that was weight and height done.
And then the killer question. 'How active are you?' There were three options, ranging from slug to Usain Bolt, so erring on the side of caution I settled for the middle option, which basically includes anyone with a pulse who can walk for more than thirty minutes without needing mouth to mouth.
Waiting for the results, I convinced myself that I'd done enough this year to get me into the green healthy weight measurement, so you can only just start to imagine my horror when the results came through. Without sounding too dramatic, according to the NHS I shall probably die by Wednesday unless I lose another two stone. Now I don't know what these figures are based on, but if I lost another two stone I would resemble 1980's Mr Muscle and could hire myself out as a broom handle or tent prop.
But if I lose another six pounds or so, I'll be in the upper echelons of satisfactory, which I shall be more than happy with. Where do they get these calculations from anyway? There was almost a three stone variation on a healthy BMI for me which is just loopy.
I'll keep plugging away though. And maybe, just maybe, I might get into that green bit on the scale instead of languishing in the yellow.
But at least I'm no longer in the red...