Sunday, 24 September 2017

Jealousy...

The Mother is getting a dog.  I'm not quite sure how Percy and Reg are going to deal with this invasion into the family, and I'm sure that they will see her, for a girl she is, as competition in the walking, stroking and sleepover stakes.

Up till now, they have had a monopoly on dog biscuits, sleeping on the bed, cuddles and treats, and I think that within ten minutes of being introduced to her, they will be planning how to get rid of her.  I know that I say 'they', but I think we all know that I am really only speaking about Reg.  Percy does everything on his terms, so a new kid on the block probably won't phase him too much and he'll simply ignore her if it suits.  Mind you, looking at the picture of the new dog at Saturday Breakfast yesterday, it looks like she has a bit of ginger in her, and if you remember, Percy is rather partial to the odd redhead (I think his name was Albert).  So Percy may just fall head over heels and start wearing his bow tie again, trotting up and down the garden path trying to impress the Titian temptress.  

But if he did decide that life would be rather improved without her in it, I would imagine that there would be a very adult conversation over a nice cup of tea, while they discussed options.  These might be laced with an unopened pack of Dentastix and a cuddly duck with a missing beak and no squeaker.

Now Reg could be a little more difficult.  He always shows great tenacity where the ladies are concerned, and will only give up the chase when his legs can take no more.  I'm just hoping that this new girl has the balls to put Reg in his place if need be.  On their first meeting, I reckon that Reg would have smoothed down his errant eyebrows with a bit of spit before swaggering up to her with his trademark, 'Alriiiiiight', in his best east London accent - if Reg had a voice, it would be Catherine Tate's school girl all the way.  Percy would be more An Affair to Remember...

So if this girl spurned Reg, I would imagine that he would take it very badly.  I wouldn't be surprised if we found her hitching a ride on the A40, keen to get away from the over amorous schnauzer with the personal space problem.

All joking apart, it'll be lovely for The Mother to have a dog.  They can only enrich a life as I have discovered...

Talking of the dogs, Miss R had them both for the weekend the husband and I were at Goodwood.  After a particularly long walk with them, they had found themselves in a pub having a well earned beverage.

A lady in the pub had spotted them, and came over for a chat and a stroke (the first with my sister, the second for the dogs in case you're wondering) and looking at the two knackered dogs on the floor, she said that she thought that the dogs 'weren't very sociable'.  What gives anyone the right to say this about someone else's dogs is beyond me, and it was fortunate that I wasn't there, because she would have got short shrift from me.  But Miss R, who has been known to show a little more restraint than me, explained that it was probably because they had just walked ten miles and were a bit weary.

Now, you'd think that would be enough, wouldn't you?  But no, the lady just couldn't help herself, and continued with...

'I expect it's because they're German'...

Dummkopf....