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I swear...

Ouch...
There are many words which could summarise the last six days, but this one will do quite nicely.
Up until today, I have been a woman of two halves.  From the waist upwards, I have been Mrs Brown (she of the 'boys' fame) with a mouth like a sewer and a propensity for foul language at regular intervals.  Below the waist, and it's John Wayne all the way, with a pair of legs which wouldn't stop the proverbial pig in a passage.  It's all been a bit, 'Get off that feckin' horse and drink your Guinness', as the big man may or may not have said.
But back to Monday...
The husband, ever supporting and caring, left me in the more than capable hands of the local hospital and their fabulous staff, and was there again at the end of the day once the operation was done to ferry me back home. Levitation has been the keyword this week, and no more so than when encountering the sleeping policemen close to home.  After the third had been taken at a rate of knots, the h…
Recent posts

Somethin' stupid...

It's been a frustrating start to the week.  Over the past few days, I have come across various folk in my daily life who have made me that cross that I could, in the words of Stu Francis the Crackerjack icon, 'crush a grape'.
But I've been patient, polite and friendly, and this morning, I said to the husband that I had designated today as a Wassack Free Wednesday.  A day when every person I met would be sensible, honest and not lacking in some normal human function.
It was going really well.  I almost made it to the end of today without silently asking myself whether I was on the set of the Twilight Zone, and then...
I went to the garden centre.  A quiet little trip planned to stock up on all those little green things which may or may not survive the next two months.  You'll remember my garden flower beds are also known as Death Row, such is my reputation for sending various plants on a long walk from which they never return.
I've bought some wooden troughs for the…

I can't go for that...

This weekend away was my first experience of eating out under my new food rules.  So that you know exactly what I'm up against, here are the foods which I've been told to avoid:
Eggs Rose-hip Cashew Wheat Cow's Milk Sunflower Seed Coconut Yeast Bamboo Shoots Beef Peanut Chardonnay Grape Chili Pepper Hazelnut Millet Kale Gluten Shiraz Grape Water Chestnut
It's quite an extensive list, but, touch wood, I've not had a headache since I've cleared these foods out of my diet.  It's relatively easy to do this at home, as long as you're well prepared, but a weekend away in the Wobble Box was always going to be a challenge.
It didn't start well if I'm honest.  On Friday night, I scoured a pub menu for five full minutes before finally settling on what I thought would be OK to order.  Making sure that there would be no butter or bread with the meal, I waited in eager anticipation.
Well it looked lovely.  Every effort had been made to make my naked meal look appealing (the food …

Eyes of the squirrel...

So the intrepid travellers have returned from yet another weekend gallivanting across this beautiful island in their Wobble Box.
By now, you've probably realised that these weekends are completely built up around our two woofers.  Where can we walk them?  Will there be a river for Percy to launch himself into?  Will there be a couple of pubs en route for the holidaying humans? All of this is looked into before we head out each day, and this weekend's walks were The Clarendon Way, which was a really great walk with hills, woodland, pubs and wide open fields. 
Today we decided to do the Test Way.  Now, the choice of this walk was purely based  on the fact that the local river is called the Test, so one would assume that the river would feature somewhere on route.  It didn't.  Well it did, but everywhere we looked, there were signs hung from fences, gates and in the woodland, nailed to trees.  What did these signs say?
'Private' 'Keep Out' 'Private Grounds and …

I can hear the grass grow,,,

This bloody weather.  How is that on Saturday morning I was in my deckchair, and this morning in my bobble hat?  The dogs gave me That Look when I hauled them outside for their pre-Binland perambulation this morning.  The heavens were not just open, someone was flapping the doors at high speed to ensure a stiff wind to reach all those bits which vertical rain can't usually get to.  So I left home with two Schnauzers, and came home with two toilet brushes.  They weren't best pleased..
But weather schmeather, the husband and I are off in the Wobble Box this weekend again.  You'll remember that the last attempt to get away was brought to a shuddering halt by the husband and his waterworks (very apt as he a plumber by trade), so I have been very careful with him over the last couple of weeks.
No late nights out for him, no beer, lots of healthy food and I've also been very cautious about the amount of jobs I ask him to do so as not to overtax him.
Now as we all know ladies, t…

Message in a bottle...

It's been a funny old day at Binland today.  As I walked into the transport office to say hello to everyone, Mrs S looked at me, and said, 'You didn't get my message then?'
Aah yes, the mobile phone which I carry at all time, which is invariably on mute thus ensuring that I miss every call and message which wings its way across the ether to me.
'What's up?  Do you need milk?'  This is the usual message which Mrs S sends me on a weekday.  Yet again, often not read until I'm settled down in my office and reaching for my mug for my first cup of tea.
'No', she said.  'Everything's down'.
'Everything' was the phone and the internet, so I spent this morning trying to reply to customers via email using my mobile.  This goes someway to explain why my eyes look like two slits on a pig's bum and I was very relieved to head off home after lunch.
A lovely walk with the woofers, accompanied by every type of precipitation you could wish for…

Burn, baby, burn...

So the Winter/Spring clothing conflict continues.  I decided today (15 degrees, sunny sky) that I prefer being too warm rather than too cold, so have embraced the thick tight/boot combo for the time being.  Not too much thought has gone into this if I'm honest.  It's just that I look better pink and shiny than blue and pinched.  
Talking of pink and shiny, I went to see Rocky Horror Picture Show again, this time in Oxford with some of the other female inmates of Binland.  The evening started in a bus shelter and ended with some serious hobbling to a taxi rank and a very late night.  In fact, I crawled into bed at 3.00am (this takes into consideration the lost hour) and son number two had to come and get me.  He'd driven back home from Leeds that evening, so his car was nicely warmed up to collect his elderly parent in her sequinned shorts.
And of course it was Mother's Day.  The same day in fact.  Unbelievably,  I had fourteen coming for lunch and in my infinite wisdom, …