Skip to main content

There's a hole in my bucket.....

Words from a Bird.  Day 20

As you have probably figured out by now, my family is incredibly close.  We are a rare breed, often choosing to spend time together through pleasure rather than just duty.  The hours spent around Nanny's hospital bed are proving to be a quite a special time in a strange way.  We can talk uninterrupted, covering all manner of subjects. 

Today proved to be one of those times, as my mum, aunt and I sat round the bed, nursing cups of tea. We had spoken about Nanny, and had updated other family members about how she was.  Having done our equivalent of Nanny Housekeeping, it was time to move on to other subjects.

Now my aunt reads my blog faithfully, being a modern, professional woman, completely up to speed with technology (she even answers her mobile when you ring it!); my mother however is a bit of a Luddite when it comes to anything with a password (Kindle lasted 17 days before it was retired to the dresser drawer).  Apparently, you can't use a bookmark with a Kindle, and she kept losing her place. 

We also tried to get her onto facebook sometime ago, what a disaster that turned out to be.  She had many people try to 'friend' her, but she was too afraid to accept any of them, telling us all that it was the equivalent of giving people your front door key. Facebook didn't even fare as well as the Kindle, her account was deactivated after just 6 days. Going back to the mobile phone, my mum's favourite trick is to ALWAYS have her phone with her, but to ALWAYS keep it turned off to save the battery.  This explains why it is ALWAYS impossible to get hold of her.

So my mum hasn't really read much of my blog, so when my aunt started to tell me how funny she'd found yesterday's about dating in the modern world, my mum's ears pricked up.  'Do you remember that bloke I met who had tunnel vision?  We had to meet somewhere on the main road as he wasn't too good with junctions.'  So you can see, conversation is varied to say the least.  This however was highbrow compared to what came next...

Mum.  'I love my new mop'
Aunt.  'Oh that's good.  Does it still smell like the old one did?'
Mum. 'No.  I'm not keeping it in the pantry anymore'
Aunt. 'Were you standing it on its head in between uses?  That's probably why it smelt'
Mum. 'No.  Stick down, head up'.
Me. 'What kind of mop have you got then?'
Mum. 'A stringy one that's not string (?)'
Aunt. 'It's a Vileda one, not like mine with the string thongs.  Your mum's are flat and blue'  (Still no wiser)
Me.  'I don't like those mops.  I hate the way I have to rinse them in the washing up bowl'.
Mum.  'Well you know what your problem is, don't you?  You're not using a mop-appropriate bucket'
Aunt.  Silence
Me. Silence

It's another world........






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Say goodbye...

Here's a question for you.  Why is it that when we are dieting, we say that we have 'lost weight'.  To me this implies that at some time in the not so distant future, we're going to find it again.  I like to imagine a 28lb blob of yellow fat in a three piece suit, winking lasciviously at me and saying, 'Oi skinny.  I've missed you.  Fancy letting me ride shotgun around those hips again?'
So instead of 'losing weight' I am getting rid of it.  Throwing it away.  Killing it.   Banishing it, never to be seen again.  Previous experience tells me that I will probably have old Blobby hanging back around my middle in a couple of years, once I've tired of leaves and crispbreads, but I am trying to do things slightly different this time.  Slowing down the stampeding rate I eat (I blame hurried school lunches for this), speeding up the walking, and being more aware of what I am doing and why I am doing it.
Someone once told me that if I ever felt like pickin…

Cold wind blows...

I don't know how cold it is with you at the moment, but I spent yesterday morning snapping the two furballs off various trees and posts as we attempted a walk before I went to work.  I had made the schoolgirl error of asking myself, 'Just how cold can it be?' before putting one extra sweater on beneath my walking coat.  I also had my Olga from the Volga fur hat, a scarf and gloves (to be fair, I've been wearing all of these since the middle of October).  Unfortunately, what I hadn't taken into consideration was the above the knee dress I was wearing to work yesterday.  I imagined that the extra warmth up top would somehow work its way to my knees.  
I was wrong.
Getting back indoors after forty five minutes of combat with The Beast from the East, I looked down at my legs.  Even with the black 100 denier tights I was wearing, I could see that my legs had taken on a slightly different hue to normal.  They were looking like two red pillar boxes, and it took ten minutes …

A man could go quite mad...

I have started to realise that there are many things about me which drive the husband mad.  When you first get together, those small faults are cute and a little bit quirky.  However, fast forward a couple of decades and they become a fairly acceptable excuse for manslaughter.  
I started thinking about this after the contretemps with the cutlery drawer a couple of weeks ago.  If you remember, the husband informed that that I was messing with his feng shui by putting the boiled egg spoons in with the dessert forks.  He only seemed to notice that I did this after I bought a new cutlery tray for the drawer, so I'm blaming Groupon for grassing me up.
The other thing is my snoring.  When we first met, this was described as 'endearing', and he told me that as he lay next to me at night, he used to smile to himself and listen to me.  This swiftly moved on to comparisons with a nasally challenged warthog, and more recently to a Boeing 747 with a noisy exhaust.  I'm considerate …