Tuesday, 5 January 2016

Wasteland..

Words from a Bird.  Day 5.

So, first day back at Binland today.  Wonderful to be amongst the skips and wheelie bins again.  Obviously talking (about) rubbish all over Christmas isn't quite the same. 

Younger son very happy to see me go this morning, as this gave him five hours of laying in bed surrounded by empty chocolate wrappers, watching Jeremy Kyle and the feral underbelly of British civilisation.  It makes him feel normal apparently....

Talking about Jeremy Kyle, I have long had a theory about the people that appear on the show.  I think that the interview process probably goes along these lines...

Q1  Do you, or have you, ever slept with/stolen from/fathered a child with/shared drugs with an inappropriate family member?
Q2  Do you only wear clothes borrowed from a much thinner friend?
Q3  Is your vocabulary limited, with four letters and one syllable being your limit?
Q4  Do you tend to slouch with your legs at a 90 degree angle? (Mostly applicable to males, but females get bonus points for answering yes)
Q5  Do you have a set of teeth that resembles a London street in 1941?

If you can answer 'yes' to at least three of these, then you're through to the next round.

I think that this final question is:

Q6  DO YOU LIVE IN BRISTOL?

Of course, if you can only provide a 'yes' to Q5, this gives you an automatic pass straight through to the show.

So yes, I can see why my son feels 'normal'.......

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