Needles and pins...

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So the old stiff neck saga continues...

Having spent the last week constantly looking over my left shoulder, I was really looking forward to my second round of torture (sorry, treatment) with the husband's chiropractor.  When I left her last week, her parting shot was, 'how are you with needles?'  Well, I suppose it depends which type you're talking about really.  

Hypodermic needles - as long as I look away, I'm fine.  It's a shame I've not got any jabs scheduled over the next week, as my head is in exactly the right position for one of these just now.

Pine needles - they block my Dyson EVERY BLOODY JANUARY.

Sewing needles - never mind getting a camel through the eye of one of these, I need a hole the size of a camel to thread cotton these days.  

The Isle of Wight ones?  Never been, but looks like something I might do at some point (excuse the pun).

Well it turned out that she meant none of these.

Today ladies, I had acupuncture. I went in with an open mind and a clean vest (we are all a bit careful when we have to strip off in front of strangers, aren't we) and had some massage (lovely) and a couple of adjustments (not so lovely, and I had to find that smile which you keep in reserve for difficult situations.  You know the one ladies, the one you dredge up when you meet that woman in Tesco's who went out with your husband ten years before you even set eyes on him.  The one you use when the husband asks how you are when you've spent the whole day cleaning up after his DIY job in the spare room.  The one you use half way through a smear test.  Sorry gentleman, but you get my drift).

And then she made me turn over...

Well, it wasn't so bad.  I was slightly confused when she wired up the needles to a TENS machine using something similar to those jump-start leads most people keep in their boots, but like most of you, when you get to a certain age, you tend not to ask questions for fear of looking a complete numpty.

I'm booked in again next week for a repeat performance, so we shall see whether there is any improvement.

When the chiropractor reassured me this morning as to the fact that the acupuncture should be pain free, I was reminded of a certain dentist I frequented in the 1980's. At the beginning of a particularly gruelling session to fit six crowns, he lunged at me with a hypodermic needle which was so large it had its own rope and pully system, and said, 'Don't worry, this little prick won't hurt you'.

My silent response?

'Yes you will.  Just like the last time, and the time before that'...



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