Don't speak...

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Have you ever said something and as the words left your mouth, you wished you had a rewind button?

I was having a lovely coffee and terribly fattening cake on Wednesday afternoon with two completely gorgeous friends, when I said...

'I really want to try Zumba, but I'm terrified that it will all be a bit too much for my knees, ankles, neck and non-existent core muscles'. My two friends were really kind, and muttered something along the lines of 'how hard can it be' and 'you'll be fine', and then I suggested that it might be an idea to watch one online to get some idea as to what torture lay ahead.

'You could watch that, and then teach us how to do it', quipped Mrs W.  'You could be the Green Goddess'.

I should say that I was very relieved that Mrs W said THE Green Goddess (Diana Moran, green leotard, blond hair, totally gorgeous) and not A Green Goddess (slow, square, drab green and only used in dire emergencies such as nuclear war).  Mind you, with the post-Christmas flab being more resistant to starvation this year, perhaps the comparison to a dated fire engine might not be all that far off target.  

The overall result of this discussion was that the two friends are going to come with me to the Zumba class for moral support (this could change to literal support if it's harder than I imagine) so the bright clothing and leg warmers are to be dredged from various places over the next week or so in readiness for the lesson.  I don't have any legwarmers as I missed that particular fad, so I will cut the toes out of a pair of the husband's work socks and hope for the best.

Talking of the old figure, I was measured up for my mother of the bride dress this week.  As the lovely lady whipped her tape measure around me, I joked about the various body shapes which magazines talk about.  There's athletic, pear, apple, oval etc etc.

'I tend to lurch from triangle (no bosom and huge hips) to breeze block (same measurement for bosom, waist and hips)' I said to her as she noted down various measurements (all of which were three figures starting with a '1', and I was praying to anyone that was listening that she was using the metric side of the measure, otherwise I'm in bigger trouble than I thought).

'You have a real hourglass figure', she said to me kindly.

I can go with that I suppose.  Except all my sand has dropped...



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