The birds...

Do you ever watch a film or read a book, and wonder what you would do if you found yourself in the same situation? This is the kind of nonsense which runs through my brain when walking the fuzzballs in the morning, and yesterday, it was The Birds (the Daphne du Maurier book version) which was causing me some distress.  There were a lot of crows milling around in the field, and after much reflection, I decided that the large airing cupboard in daughter number two's bedroom would probably be where I would hide.  

Why this room?  Well those naughty old birdies would have to get through a couple of doors to get to me, the last one being quite sturdy, and there is a lot of stuff I could use to protect myself if they managed to peck their way through.

Having forgotten all about this as the day went on, I came home yesterday afternoon and started phase two of 'Getting Your Child Ready For University'.  This involved going into the aforementioned airing cupboard and looking for a couple of fitted sheets.  Now this airing cupboard is renowned for being the Bermuda Triangle in my house. Things go in, but they never come out again, so as you can imagine, it's a little busy in there.  Trawling through the shelves looking for the sheets, I thought back to my predicament with the vicious birds.  Looking around the airing cupboard, I wondered what I could use to protect myself if push came to shove. 

Well there were towels, bedding and spare duvets which wouldn't have been much use, but delving deeper into the dark recesses of the airing cupboard, I managed to find the following:

A three foot long blue shark moulting plastic beads

A Warhammer Castle, one wall missing

An amplifier 

An empty television box 

A shower door with fittings beautifully tied to the knob

Twenty four hangers

A crash helmet (the most useful thing so far)

Five years' supply of Economics textbooks (you never know when they'll be useful apparently)

So that was my problem solved.  I could wrap myself in a duvet, pop the crash helmet on (visor down naturally) and read the Economics textbooks out loud into the microphone attached to the amp, thus boring the birds to death.

This is what it feels like when daughter number two, who is training to become a Financial Advisor, starts talking about pensions and ISA's.  Her siblings have resorted to sticking their fingers in their ears while singing, 'La la la..'

Very grown up...