Thursday, 13 July 2017

In my secret life...

I'm starting to like my crutches.  Here's what I achieved yesterday...

Tea in bed (I can't carry my mug further than the microwave, and even that involves an element of sliding it across the work top in a 'Set 'em up Joe', sort of way.

Dogs walked by the husband - in the pouring rain while I was drinking my tea.  This was excellent, as it meant that I wouldn't have to do a rescue job on my hair before work.  

Ironing board and iron were set up, hangers retrieved from bedrooms and hanging rail brought in to kitchen.  Son number two also put the bar stool there so I could sit and iron. Perched on it like a slightly overweight budgie, I managed to do at least half of the ironing.  And the best bit?  I left it all there for one of the males in the house to put away later.

At Binland, I had my mug washed and filled with glorious tea at least three times, by colleagues who have so many more important things to do than pander to my every need.  
I then came home and got son number one to vacuum the lounge and walk and feed the dogs.

Ironing was taken up and put away by him also, and the ironing board and iron put back by son number two.

The husband made and served dinner.  Son number one loaded the dishwasher, and the husband brought me yet another cup of tea as I watched Corrie.

All in all, there are a lot of positives about being so bloody useless.  Tuesday evening, I was mourning the loss of life as I knew it, and moaning to everyone about how I wanted to throw my damned crutches as far as my chicken-winged arms could manage.  Fast forward to this morning, and I am thinking about asking the physio when I go later today whether I can keep them.  

Even if she says I can lose them, I may not tell the husband and the boys, but simply keep hobbling around the house while they do all the jobs I would normally do.  Of course, while no one is in the house it will be business as usual, with yours truly hurtling up and down the stairs like Usain Bolt attempting a world record.

I wonder how long I could keep this up before they started asking questions...

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