Tuesday, 21 March 2017

Pain...

I had to go to the hospital yesterday.  Nothing life threatening you'll be relieved to hear, although by the time I left there, there was a chance that someone else's life might be threatened....

For the last six years I have been going to various consultants for a painful foot.  This can sometimes get so bad that I have to mince around the house with a stiff foot looking like a camp storm trooper.  Anyway, having had a miracle jab last year which gave me some respite for a whole 37 days, it was back again yesterday for some more suggestions.
  
It was a new consultant I saw this time.  This one had the personality of a house brick and a waft of ice cold air greeted me as I went into his room.  He had a double widow's peak like Dracula, and I nervously touched the crucifix I always wear, and gave a silent thanks that I'd had garlic mayonnaise on my salad at lunchtime. So having looked at yet another set of X-rays, he said that it was definitely arthritis.  Now I had already had two other consultants tell me that it definitely wasn't arthritis, and I neatly dropped that into conversation.  Well apparently, the two other consultants  (who were a lot older than him and therefore probably more experienced) were wrong, and he was right.  He then asked the fifty million dollar question.

'Have you tried pain killers?'

Looking at him though slitted eyes, this is what I said...

'Yes, I have tried painkillers.  I have tried paracetamol, ibuprofen, codeine and something unpronounceable which my GP prescribed which sent me loopy. I have also bought over forty five pairs of shoes over the last five years in the hope that one pair might help.  I have tried orthotics, which meant buying more shoes because the original forty five pairs were now too small. I have experimented with a TENS machine, which did more for my hair than my foot and which also managed to electrocute one of my dogs.  I have spent money on herbal treatments, pain relief gels and plasters. I have even lost thirty pounds in weight to try and help myself. I have come to the proverbial 'end of the road' and would like some suggestions...

He nodded.  'Yes, yes, but did you use the pain killers regularly?'

Oh dear god, was I even in the room?

Through gritted teeth, I answered his simple question with a very clipped 'Yes', and he peered closely at the X-rays again.  He then made the decision that short of chopping my foot off and replacing it with castors, another injection was the best way forward.  

I am almost giddy with excitement and am looking forward to another 37 pain free days.

Give or take.... 


Post a Comment