Something has happened this week which has made me look at my two dogs, Percy and Reg, in a slightly different way than I normally do.
Up until Monday, I have walked my two without a care in the world, meeting other dogs on our walks, playing with neighbours' dogs, and just generally getting on with having a bit of fun with them. They have always seemed like the simplest of chaps, happy with a stick, ball or food. However, all that changed when a lovely neighbour dropped me an email to let me know that her Labrador was in season. As my two have all their equipment in good working order (I blame the husband for this as he sees any sort of 'snipping' a slur on his own manhood - perhaps he thinks that he'll be next in line, who knows) an element of forethought was now required when out walking, and my friend suggested a system of ribbons to avoid any unwanted dalliances.
So walking the boys yesterday past my friend's house, I glanced down at the two of them walking on their lead. No longer did I see just two fuzzballs trotting along, now they were....stud-muffins, babe-magnets, possible dads and dangerous to in-season chocolate Labradors. To be honest, if they had started strutting like John Travolta I probably wouldn't have been surprised. I almost expected to hear one of them start singing Sex Bomb, while the other gyrated around a tree. But I am being extremely responsible and keeping them far, far away.
Weirdly, another friend has approached me about the possibility of using one of my two boys to breed with her mini, Martha. Now, I am fully aware that many conversations have to take place with their breeders before even considering this, but I did say to her, that if I were to pick one of my boys to father another generation, it would be Percy. The thought of inflicting another Reg on this unsuspecting world is more than I can bear thanks to his destructive shredding. No one would thank me, and we'd probably have to leave the country.
Mind you, faced with the possibility of an hour with a pretty girl, Percy would rather spend his afternoon with a mug of Horlicks and his knitting, such is his lack of manly hormones, bless him. He has never shown any interest in any dog other than a Hugo, an Albert and a bit of a penchant for a large poodle called Eric. All in all, I think it's safe to say that Percy will be no threat in the fathering stakes should that time ever come.
Talking this over with the husband, he has suggested that we have one of the puppies if it ever goes ahead.
I think my face said it all...