Before going out for my nephew Wormy's birthday lunch on Sunday, I spent a most unpleasant hour facing up to the truth.
I have put weight on....
Now we all expect to put on a bit over the Christmas holidays, don't we ladies, but this far exceeded anything acceptable to the clothes in my wardrobe, which very kindly laughed in my face as I took them from their hangers. In fact in reminded me of Michael McIntyre's sketch about the herbs and spices...'Ever been out of the cupboard?' 'No. You?' 'No. Never...'
I have clothes in there which are labelled my 'One Day' clothes, referring to some time in the distant future when they might fit, and then there are the old faithfuls, which never let me down whatever I weigh. These are the clothes which tend to have 5% Elastane or 100% Spandex on the label - always a winner.
Looking at the rails, I mulled over the amount of things which actually fit me right now, and it was pitiful. Having given myself a big old talking to on Sunday, yesterday I signed up for Weight Watchers again. This works for me all the time I am doing it, but as soon as I come away from it, I blow up like Violet Beauregarde but without the purple face. It was time to go back with my ample tail between my chafing legs....
So I sat at my laptop yesterday morning and worked out exactly what I could eat for the day based on the generous allowance of 30 SmartPoints. Having planned it all out, I had about 14 left which I thought was good as it allowed for emergency rations sometime around 4.00pm when I usually press the Panic Button.
Unfortunately, the Panic Button went off in Waitrose yesterday afternoon, just as I was pushing a trolley full of salad past their café. Taking a detour to the counter, I asked for a coffee (skimmed milk naturally) and then I saw the Red Velvet Cake. Now for some reason, I asked for a slice which was strange, as I have never tried this before, so it wasn't like it was calling out to me or anything. The lovely man with a beard hair net cut a small slice for me. What are they about? I couldn't take my eyes off it and the poor chap probably though I was deaf and lip-reading. But back to the cake. Admittedly, it was a very small slice, probably about five mouthfuls, and it did taste delicious, and the skimmed milk coffee probably cancelled it out, but I made the foolish decision to look up how many points it was as I sat there polishing off the last crumbs.
How could something the size of a small apple have that many points? Well you know what this meant, don't you? No dinner for me last night to compensate for the over spending on the bloody Red Velvet Cake.
But today's another day. A day void of Red Velvet Cake and anything which isn't salad...