The Secret Birthday LunchAct 1
We are in a night time bedroom with the birthday girl (BG) and daughter number one (DN1). It's Friday night, and the two of them are discussing the forthcoming birthday celebrations.
What has dad planned for you for your birthday?
Well, I'm hoping for a big family lunch.
Like we did last week at The Queens Head?
Exactly like that...
Fast forward to Saturday, and we are now in Barouche, a trendy bar in Marlow. We see the BG sitting with her best friend Mrs S (MS), discussing how long they have known each other, and how quickly the time has gone.
Enter left Miss R (MR) the mother (TM), Mrs Jangles (MJ) and son number two who join BG and MS.
Can I take your orders?
I'll have a large latte please.
Sorry, our frother is broken.
Oh. Well I'll just have a coffee - can I go next door to Starbucks and get it frothed?
No you can't. Anyone else for a drink?
I'll have a black coffee with hot milk please.
As I just said, if you'd been listening, the frother is broken. It will have to be cold milk.
Tea all round then please.
So what are you doing for your birthday tomorrow?
Going for lunch, at The Queens Head I think. I suppose you lot are coming too?
Aren't we going to the Seven Stars?
Where is that exactly? You'll have to give me the postcode.
But I'm not meant to know about this. Look at the husband's email - it says very clearly 'Not to tell me'
Well you know now. Hang on, there's another email from him asking us to choose our menus.
What are you having then?
I can't choose because I AM NOT MEANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE LUNCH!!!
Enter left the father (SR) with Ms C. The father plonks himself down next to the BG
What time is lunch tomorrow dear?
I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I AM NOT MEANT TO KNOW - IT'S A BLOODY SURPRISE..
I had to confess to the husband that I knew, and his little face crumpled. 'But I told them not to tell you', he said.
'Next time', I said, 'put that bit at the start of the text rather than the end. You might stand a chance of them reading it then...'
Just to confuse everyone later, I might just act really surprised...
Mouth open, eyes wide, pointing at them and saying 'Oh you guys'. You know, the whole shebang.
Well it is my birthday......