The sting...

There's nothing like a wasp in your bra to focus the mind.

It's hot you see, and yesterday afternoon I decided to pop on one of my summer tops to take full advantage of the glorious weather.  Pulling a particularly pretty blue vest from the wardrobe, I stuck it on and headed out.  There was a bit much on show I admit it, but as I rarely meet anyone on my walks, I wasn't too bothered.

But I need to go back a little.  This top was one I found in a carrier bag at the back of the airing cupboard.  It was stuffed in there with several other items of clothing and one flip flop, and I know for a fact that this bag hadn't made any appearance for at least the last three years.  It was like finding buried treasure, and I pulled out each crumpled piece of clothing delighted to have the equivalent of some new clothes without any money leaving my bank account.

Duly washed and ironed, the clothes then made their way up to my wardrobe where they hung in multicoloured splendour until a day like yesterday.

The husband had taken a look at my 'cleavage' (being a bit generous here) as I walked out.  'Nice top', he said.  'Should it go underneath something though?  Like a jumper, or a coat?'  'Oh coat, shmoat', said I.  'No one's interested in looking at my bosom' (again, rather generous).

So back to the wasp.  Now I don't know any person on this planet who likes wasps.  Vindictive, spiteful little critters intent on ruining any kind of outside meal.  And if one of them happens to get you, it's bloody painful.....for weeks!

So this thing landed in my cleavage and I watched it disappear into my bra with just its legs and that nasty pointy bit at the back hovering rather too closely to my over exposed flesh.

I had two options.  I could either simply whack the wasp as hard as possible and hope that I'd sent him into oblivion before he had a chance to fire up the rear end, or I could handle it differently.  Very slowly I peeled back the top and aforementioned brassiere, and flicked the little bugger off.  

It's a shame really, because having seen the swelling a wasp sting can cause, I was considering getting it to sting me both sides, thus ensuring an increase from A to DD almost overnight.

That top has gone back into the airing cupboard along with the solo flip flop.  It'll probably get another airing in a couple of years' time, when this unfortunate incident is all forgotten...

God knows where the other flip flop is though...