Open up your door...

The husband did enough of a Lazarus to open the front door while I was at Binland today.  It was just as well, as it was the lovely gentlemen who'd come to fit my log burner.  I suppose that the husband must have weighed up in his mind the pain of getting out of his sickbed compared to what he might have to endure had he not opened the door.  Sensible man.  

I'd already decided that if I'd come home today to find that the fitters had gone away as no one had answered the door, then the husband would have been woken up by me carrying a length of hosepipe and a watering can, muttering something along the lines of 'well the doctor said an enema might help'.

But by the time I got home today, the husband had the log burner on the go, and was sitting on the sofa sweating like a turkey on Christmas Eve and stating that he thought he'd overdone it.

Well I had warned him ladies.  'Don't overdo it today', I said to him.  Did he listen?  Of course he didn't.  In fact it all started with the fireplace this morning.  As he languished on his deathbed yesterday, I had cleaned the fireplace out the best I could, but once the husband had removed the fire basket this morning (overdoing it), it became apparent that there was a little more cleaning up to do.  Now I would have just gone and got the dustpan and brush and swept it up, but the husband had gone all out, and my new vacuum stood in a state of confusion on the carpet.  'Don't you go sucking up any of those big bits of wood with Vera (everything has a name in our house).  You'll only block her tubes'.

He hadn't managed to find the power switch on Vera (vacuuming falls into the Pink Jobs category) but I soon had him up and running and I went into the kitchen for my breakfast.

Two minutes later, there was an almighty shout and some rather choice expletives.

I didn't go in.  No point looking for trouble, but after some gentle coaxing ('you blocked Vera's tube up, didn't you?') it turned out that as he'd stretched the pipe to reach the furthest corner of the fire place, the vacuum fell over and hit him on his head.

Like he doesn't have enough problems. Now the vacuum's got it in for him...




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