Smart girls...

I got a new Smart phone last week.  

It's pretty much the same as my old one, except for  the super-duper all-singing, all-dancing camera which does some really cool stuff.

I transferred everything over from the old phone to the new, feeling pretty pleased with myself as I sat in the lounge pressing the two phones together while the husband watched with a slightly amused look.  So my phone was now set up and I popped it back into the old phone case to protect it from the various knocks that it's subjected to on a daily basis.

Taking the phone out at the weekend, I took lots of photos on my dog walks, eager to see how much better they were going to be. Looking at the photos on Sunday, I realised that the hole for the camera viewer on my phone cover was, and always has been vertical.  The phone viewfinder (Is it still called that?  Sounds terribly old fashioned) was horizontal, so my first attempt at photos was a complete disaster.  

So I ordered a new case.  This came yesterday morning, and I snapped the new phone in.  Very nice, and the whole phone camera bit was now visible, so no more heads missing from my photos which was encouraging.

So this morning, I was setting up my banking on my phone.  A little box appeared as I logged in. 'Would you like to set up Iris Recognition Security?'  Well my first thought was that other than a rather aged aunt, I didn't know anyone called Iris, but then the penny dropped.  This would be like you do at the airport now.  Well, how hard could it be?

I followed the instructions to the letter until I got to the bit where they tell you to take your glasses off.  OK, so now I couldn't see a darn thing, so after a couple of practice runs with the specs on, I set to doing it for real.  

Six attempts I had.  Six attempts to line my eyes up in two small circles the size of a garden pea.  Three of which matched me up with Cyclops, one as Long John Silver and two as Marty Feldman.

I gave up.  Enough of the eyes, I'll stick to drawing the funny picture with the dots (forgotten and reset twice so far this week).

But the best thing about my phone is that it creates an emoji of me.  This is fantastic as I have no wrinkles, grey hair or turkey neck.  I also have a fantastic bosom.

Now that is a Smart phone...


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