King of the road...

There was a three way standoff on the country lane I was walking along this afternoon.

Coming from the left was a battered old Land Rover being driven by a little old man.  I'll be honest with you, from where I was standing, I couldn't be 100% sure that it was a man.  However, there was a trilby poking over the top of the steering wheel, so I think it's safe to assume.  Luckily, there were no corgis on the back seat, as I might have been making a completely different assumption...

Coming from the opposite direction were two cars.  The first was a small Nissan Micra with two old ladies in it.  Again, barely visible over the steering wheel to start with, but when the window was wound down and a tiny hand started waving at Land Rover man, you could tell that it was a lady (I should have been a detective).

The third car was a large Mercedes being driven by some executive on his way to somewhere important (that or a taxi, I wasn't quite sure).

The Land Rover and the Micra were nose to nose on the lane, and I waited for the Land Rover to reverse.  This made sense, as he was just one car, whereas the Micra and Mercedes were two.  But he wouldn't move, choosing instead to flash his lights and bang on his horn.  The little old ladies weren't for moving, and the Mercedes driver was getting just a tad hacked off.  Eventually, he got out of his car and walked up to the two older drivers.  'You need to reverse so that we can get through', he said to the Land Rover driver.  'After all, there is no one behind you'.  Unfortunately, this was a cue for some general abuse, and the little old lady wound her window up in disgust.  

Trying to remain calm, the Mercedes driver walked back towards the Micra and knocked on the old lady's window.  'Would you mind reversing a little so that we can all get on with our days' he asked. I have to say, that looking at the bolshy wrinklies, this was probably the most excitement they'd had for years, but eventually, sanity prevailed, and the little old lady reversed back....right into the Mercedes.

The old ladies learned a couple of new words courtesy of the Mercedes driver who went over his expensive front bumper with a fine toothed comb, before finally accepting that his pride and joy was unscathed.

Land Rover man was thoroughly enjoying this, but rather than hang around for more abuse, he simply drove up the verge and through the field and past the the other two, who watched him disappear with their mouths wide open.

You see, there are positives about having a dog who likes to stop and sniff at every five feet.

I never miss a thing...


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