Cuts both ways...

Percy and Reg were back at the groomers this morning for a 'Wash 'n' Blow. If you remember from blogs gone by, Reg always seems to be rather closely clipped around the undercarriage, leaving me imagining him reversing into the groomer's clippers with a 'Yeah, baby', a la Austin Powers.  Today was no different, although the area of close shave was a lot larger than usual.  

Following the two fuzzy bottoms along the path this afternoon, I took a closer look at Reg's rear end.  It was pink.  Now I'd understand if it was grey or black, but pink?  Checking Percy's rear end which was definitely grey, I glanced back at Reg (he'd stopped for some rabbit hole investigation, so I had a chance for a closer look).  It was definitely pink.

This is what I reckon had happened.  Not content with the 'standard Schnauzer cut' which I had asked for, he had demanded a Grade 1 over his backside.  I would imagine that the conversation (if he could talk) would have gone something like this...

'Right Reg, I'm just going to clip your unmentionables.  Hold still for me'.

'I don't want 'em just clipped' (As you know Reg hails from Bath but likes to adopt a pseudo Essex drawl).  'Oh no, I want a Grade 1 all over love'.

'Won't it be a little drafty down there Reg?'

'Just bleedin' well do it love.  Now I've 'ad me knackers whipped off, I gotta 'ave some 'uvver way of looking like I mean business.  In fact, when me mum's not lookin' I'm gonna nick 'er biro and write Schnauzer Chapter on me arse'.

So he now looks like a Skinhead (or a SkinBum).  I expect he'll be wanting braces and a pair of Doc Martens next.

Of course, he never said all of this (he's a dog...)  Let's be honest, now he is no longer the full man, he was probably more likely to come out with something like this..

'Ooh, your 'ands are cold.  And look at the dust on that mirror.  Do you ever run a cloth over it?  Oh, and don't you just love Judy Garland....'

Not so much Austin Powers, more Larry Grayson...


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