Little white lies...

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Master P was very late for work yesterday.  So late in fact, that our paths crossed as I left for the day.  Before you start thinking that the poor lad is a bit of a slug-a-bed, I need to put you straight, as he's quite possibly the most conscientious salesman I have ever met (and I've known a few over the years).  Master J, if you're reading this while on your honeymoon (it beggars the question 'why?' if I'm honest) you are just as dedicated so don't start throwing your toys out of your pram.

Getting into work yesterday morning, there was an email waiting in my inbox from Master P.  In it he explained that he was waiting for the AA to come out to him as 'something flashed up on my dashboard telling me to stop', and that he'd be back into the office, 'within the hour'.

Now obviously, Master P, in his tender years, has never broken down and had to rely on the AA  before.  Of course, if he was one of the great unwashed, he could have called his mum out to rescue him as all of my children have done at some point in their lives, but as he has a company car, there's PROCEDURES.....

Anyway, an hour?  Who was he kidding?

The morning fled by, and around 11.00, I suddenly remembered that Master P was still not back in the building, so I called him to make sure he was ok and not feeling too bored.  Well he was fine, and simply waiting for the repair man to return to the nearest town in a second attempt to get the right part needed for the poorly motor car.  'I'll be back within the hour', he said again, ever the cock-eyed optimist.

At 1.00, I left, and passed him in the car park.  It was only at that point that I realised that some advice may have been welcome before he called the AA.

1. When you call, raise voice several octaves and pretend to be female (Master P's first name could be either).
2. Lie about your age.  Aim for around 22.
3. Tell them you're pregnant.  Heavily pregnant.  Thirty nine weeks perhaps?

This guarantees a much faster response from the fourth emergency service, and once they are there you simply say that you arranged a taxi back home for the soon-to-be first time mother, and that they can deal with you now.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

With age comes wisdom...

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