Words...

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If Miss R didn't make such a passable cup of tea every morning, I may have resorted to pushing her out to sea on her sunbed yesterday afternoon.  Over the last week, as well as talking to each other so much that we've made each other's ears bleed, we have played every card game known to man (along with an invented family favourite of ten card rummy).  Yesterday, the two of us, having drunk enough beer to raise concerns for the organisers of the 2018 Berliner BierFestival, turned to our phones to listen to music.

Now Miss R and I have many things in common, but music is definitely not one of them.  Her tastes tend to veer towards Michael McDonald, Barry Manilow and Tom Jones (when she's after some more modern stuff) whereas I am a frustrated rock chick, pounding out the Arctic Monkeys, Fall Out Boy and a whole lot of Eminem when applicable.  One of our favourite holiday games is to sing the words of a song, and see how long it takes for the other one to 'Name That Tune'. 

Now over the years, depending on how many players there are, and how much alcohol has been drunk, we have been told off by several other sunbathers (most of them German) because we can get a little rowdy, but with just the two of us playing, I reckoned on a fun way to pass an hour or two in the sunshine.

'Right', said Miss R, plugging her headphones in.  'What's this one then?'

There was a bit of tight lipped intro humming, before she launched into...

'I'll protect you from the hooded cloth
Keep the vampires from your door'...

I was rendered speechless for a good two minutes.  You know that laughter which stops you actually breathing in?  Well that was me.

Between dabbing at the tears running down my face and thanking Mother Nature for a robust pelvic floor, I corrected her.  'It's the Hooded Claw, not cloth.  Did it not occur to you that it didn't rhyme with door?'

It got better...

'When the ships are round, I'll be around'...

That finished me off.  'It's chips not ships, and they're down, not round'. The game prematurely rattled off to a very unsavoury end with a couple of Pina Coladas, which was a bit of a shame as I was looking forward to singing a bit of Teenage Dirtbag.

And now for a small confession.

At approximately 4.30pm yesterday at the Beach Club we have been frequenting, the beer ran out...

Just saying...

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