Paint it black...

Somewhere, in a far distant country, there are a group of people working out of an office where unicorns roam and the sun always shines.  And their job?  To create the names of paint colours to confuse and bewilder the unsuspecting public.  I think that they have every word in the English dictionary spread out over two boxes.  Every time a new colour is introduced, one word is pulled from each box and tah-dah...new colour name invented.  That's the only reasoning I can find for Dead Salmon and Stiffkey Blue.

I'm looking at painting my kitchen units you see, as I am hoping that it will be cheaper than replacing them.  So far so good.  With this in mind, the husband, who is between jobs at the moment and has been under my feet for most of the afternoons this week, suggested that we go to B&Q to take a look at what is on offer in the kitchen department.  'You never know', said the husband, 'we might get an idea of what colour we'd like for the units'.  Did you notice the use of the word 'we' there?  He has yet to realise that he has no input whatsoever as to what colour the kitchen is.  Poor deluded soul.

Anyway, B&Q.  The husband had regaled me en route as to how they had 'the biggest selection of kitchens' to look at.  I replied that 'I would be the judge of that', but with an open mind, I followed him up the aisle to where seven mini kitchens were laid out.  

They were almost all white and grey, and I am desperate to avoid any more grey in my house, choosing to go for something a bit more 'out there'.  I homed in on one which was described as 'Cashmere'.  Think milky latte and you're almost there.  So then we decided to head for the paint section to see whether we could get a colour match to take home for the decorator.

I headed down to the posh end, where the Farrow & Ball paints were.  These had the most upper class names such as Moles Breath and Nancy's Blushes, but I finally settled on Oxford Stone as a colour (this was after three trips back to the kitchenette with various swatches).  The husband was invariably drawn to the trade section as he gets major discount on these paints.  While he was scouring that colour chart, I headed to the mid range and cheap paints.  Antelope and Furry Alpaca were considered, followed by Alfie Beige and Macademia.  Hot Crossed Bun and Bedouin Trail got a look in, but in the end the Farrow and Ball one came out on top.

The husband then came back with a colour swatch, claiming that it was an exact match to the Farrow & Ball one and almost a third of the price.  

Magnolia...

When the decorator returns for the final decision as to which paint to use, I think I'll lock the husband in the garage.

I'll give him Magnolia...