All the wrong places...

Oh happy day!

Guess who won the money this week for the biggest weight loss at Binland Diet Club?  Yes, yours truly with a gargantuan 2lb weight reduction.  I am sorry that more people are not involved in this at a pound each every week, but the sheer joy overwhelmed any regrets that our membership is restricted to just seven.

I can't say that I am particularly proud of myself though.  The 2lb reduction this week, when you take into consideration the gains of the first two weeks, has left me with an overall loss of around 6oz over three weeks.  But it's given me a bit of a boost, and I am aiming for even better things next week.

The husband had one of his occasional brave moments yesterday, which only happen when he is fortified with alcohol, or at the end of the phone.  He stated that I was messing with his feng shui.  It took three attempts before I discovered what it was he was actually talking about, but once we had agreed on feng shui rather than fun-shoe and banshee. I asked how I'd messed it up for him.  You have to bear in mind at this moment that the husband is a Northern man who is usually found on building sites in hi-vis clothing.  No man has even been less in touch with his feminine side than this one.

'What have I done now?' I asked in a weary 'here-we-go-again' voice.

'It's the cutlery drawer.  You keep putting the tea spoons in the wrong way.  Oh, and I don't like the way the boiled egg spoons are in with the tea spoons.  They need their own section.  I've moved them in with the dessert forks'.

Now before you start thinking that I lead a hedonistic life with my posh dessert forks, I'd like to admit that these were bought when the children were small to help them eat more easily.  Like the Five Spice in Michael McIntyre's sketch, they've 'never been out of the cupboard' since and probably should be removed from the drawer altogether.

Did I say anything?  Did I retaliate?  Well of course not.  I quietly watched him turn all the spoons round, and relocate the boiled egg spoons in with the dessert forks, who'd up till then been enjoying their own section, before he quietly closed the drawer with a satisfying, 'That's much better'.

I shall bide my time, dear reader.  

The very next time he leaves a dirty sock on the sofa after a night's television viewing, I am hitting that drawer with a vengeance.

It will be cutlery carnage...


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

It's raining men...

Ain't no mountain high enough...

Diary...