Born too late...

Here's a question for you.  How do you like your beans on toast?

Master P (one of the pre-pubescent boys I happen to share my work space with) often prepares a hot lunch for himself, and yesterday, it was beans on toast.  Believe it or not, he insisted on having grated cheese on it.  Now to me, this is sacrilege.  As everyone knows, the only acceptable addition to beans on toast is a splash of HP sauce.

'Brown sauce?' he said.  'Brown sauce?  Oh I don't put that on anything.  More of a BBQ sauce person myself'.

'What, on beans on toast?' I asked, an incredulous look on my face.  Well apparently, this condiment is suitable for almost everything, and at this point, I had a bit of a revelation.  It would appear that I am currently at a time in my life where if it wasn't invented before I hit thirty, then I'm just not interested.  These relatively new inventions fill my middle aged head with fear.  

Basically, I'm happy with what I know.  The list below is just a small section of what I find slightly bewildering...

BBQ sauce

Acceptable on a prepacked barbecue meats or if you are Australian, but certainly not from a plastic bottle and never on my beans.

Houmus/Hummus (they can't even decide how to bloody spell it)

If I want to eat dried peas, I will.  There is no need to mash them up with a load of olive oil, and pretend that they're good for me.

Granola

Basically, this is muesli which has been baked.  This also passed me by - in the 1970's, I was more of a Frosties girl.

Kale

Food's food.  Enough said.

Water 

This is a little confrontational I know.  It's not so much the water, as the bottle it comes in.  What is wrong with the tap and a reusable plastic bottle, or even better, a glass?  Since when did it become de rigeur to carry a bottle of extremely expensive water with you on any occasion when you might break out in a slight sweat.  Talk about being sucked in with marketing.

Speaking of which...

iPhone

Ok, I know that at least 90% of you will have one of these phones in one of their many incarnations, but I'm just not getting on board that particular bus.  Give me a phone which stays charged all day and doesn't decide to do sporadic updates when you're least expecting them.

Almond milk

So here's another question.  Does anyone have the foggiest idea where an almond's nipple is?  The same can be applied to the poor old soya bean which is equally challenged in the nipple department.  I can just about manage to buy Cravendale, which has been mucked about with so it lasts longer, but almond milk?  No thank you.

Anything do do with coconuts

This includes milk (again - see above) oil, butter and water.  When I was growing up, coconuts were things which you tried to hit off a pole with a ball.  They were not for consumption if I remember rightly.  As I hit my twenties, they were acceptable when halved, emptied and then refilled with some disgusting cheap cocktail (think Greek package holiday, lascivious waiter, paper umbrella and glace cherry)

Physallis

Sounds too much like an unwanted STD to go anywhere near my fruit salad.

Netflix

I have to rely on any one of my four children to understand this.  Even now, I'm about the only person I know (other than the husband) who doesn't have Sky.

It seems to work the other way though.  

None of my kids will touch lardy cake, suet pudding, real butter, my record collection, brown sauce or BBC2...