When I'm 64...

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The husband spent most of last night harrumphing around the house muttering various expletives under his breath.

And the reason for this?

Well.  He had mail yesterday, and he has the most annoying habit of opening it and walking at the same time.  This usually means that I spend most of the evening thrusting various missives under his nose and asking him, 'Did you want this?  Or, 'Does this need paying?' or 'That should have gone next door'.

Like most of us I suppose, he likes to leave anything which looks vaguely interesting (not a bill or circular) till the end, and it was with an excited look that he picked up the A5 white envelope.  'Wonder what this is?'  he said.  Why do people always say this...

I am always tempted to say to him, 'Let's guess shall we!' and not let him open it till his frustration peaks, but I think the suspense would kill him.

'Open it, and you'll find out', I said, adopting the position of Voice Of Reason for the evening.

And then it all kicked off...

Turned out that the glamorous looking envelope was an invitation to view a brand new retirement home in a town down the road from us.  Now the husband is far from retiring (purely for the reason that the thought of having him at home all day rearranging my kitchen cupboards is not one I care to take on just yet) so I could understand his incredulity.  

'Why on earth are they sending me this?  I'm nowhere near retirement (silent prayer of thanks from yours truly).  They must have made a mistake'.  Funnily enough, another friend of mine had received the same leaflet yesterday and she's the same age as the husband, so I assume that 'people of a certain age' had been targeted.

'How come you didn't get one?' asked the husband ripping the glossy cardboard to shreds.

'Well that's obvious, isn't it?' I replied.  'I'm still 53, whereas you are well into being 54'.

His reply was fruity, and rather unprintable...

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