I've had 75% of my children back home this weekend. How do I know this?
1. There's no food in the fridge
2. Every glass is missing
3. For a short time, there were phone/laptop leads hanging out of every kitchen socket
4. The husband hasn't stopped smiling
The only one missing was son number one. How do I know this?
1. The bathroom cabinet door is never left open
The girls were back for the weekend because we were celebrating my god-daughter's 21st birthday and a big party had been arranged on Saturday night. The plan was that daughter number two would drive the five of us there and back, as she had to get up and revise for some up and coming exam. But what actually happened was that all of us started necking Prosecco at around 6.30, peaking around 9.00pm when daughter number two realised that she had gone past the point of no return with regard to getting behind the wheel.
Having spent the next hour trying to book a taxi, we were almost reconciling ourselves to the fact that we might have to walk home, as all the taxis were booked. Listening to daughter number two slurring down the line about where we needed collecting from, I'm not too surprised that they all said they were booked. Eventually, we managed to lure daughter number two's best friend from her bed, and clad in pyjamas, she came and collected us all, pouring us out onto our drive at around midnight.
I was rather afraid that a hangover might have been on the cards yesterday morning, but obviously, the copious amounts of headache pills I took before bed did the trick, so when the husband suggested a morning at the Stoke Row Steam Rally, I was up for it.
Have you ever been to a Steam Rally? I have never seen so many people wearing corduroy, and there were many middle aged men stooped over various contraptions which seemed to make a lot of noise, but not much else. Having said that, there was one gentleman who stood proudly next to his steam engine gesturing to the light bulb which would fleetingly light up every so often. Was I impressed? Well, no not really. It didn't even have a dimmer switch for heaven's sake.
One of the things which the husband likes at these events is the lack of vegetables, salad and fruit. We had already decided that a sausage bap was on the cards, and these were polished off within half an hour of arriving. We then managed a couple of Mr Whippy cornets (dogs too) and the husband finished his gastronomic morning with a hog roast, complete with a large slab of crackling.
When I suggested that it was time to leave, his lower lip stuck out, and in a reedy little voice he said, 'Oh no...do we have to?' Taking him firmly by the hand, I walked him back towards the car while he dragged his feet and grumbled slightly. 'We can't afford to stay here a moment longer', I said. 'If you eat any more crap, I'll never get you behind the steering wheel'. (We were in my Mini again, which takes no prisoners on the space front).
So it was back home for the compulsory Sunday afternoon nap, and then we polished off the weekend with a McDonalds. Never mind not being able to get into my car for work this morning, even my extra large Harvest Festival Knickers (all is safely gathered in) are looking unlikely.
It's back on the lettuce today...oh great. I love lettuce.....