Tuesday, 27 June 2017

Hold on to your hat...

Bloody hell, I hate Mondays sometimes.  

It's usually when I have had a tip-top weekend, and that glorious weekend feeling is still hanging around me.  Mind you, at 5.30am yesterday when the husband's alarm went off, once I realised that it was Monday, my tip-top weekend memories faded, leaving me feeling more like I was on the top of a tip, with all the other discarded rubbish.  While I am on the subject of the husband's alarm, it doesn't ever wake him up, however loud I turn up Radio 2.  He relies on it waking me so that I can wake him up. Perhaps my 'Are you not up yet you lazy bastard?' is more preferable to Vanessa Feltz' dulcet tones.

So husband up and out, all I had to contend with was son number two having A WEEK OFF. Talk about rubbing the salt into my already festering wound, but I let it go.  After all, the poor boy has been working his socks off for the NHS, squirrelling his wages away ready for the second attempt at university this September.  A change of direction (oop North) and a change in subject (Bye-bye Marketing.  Hello Law) might mean that I won't be seeing him back home again after five weeks this time.  Mind you, son number one has returned for the foreseeable future, so I am thinking of swapping my front door for a turnstile.  At least I'd know who was in and who was out.

So back to the coming week.  According to the weather man (The Voice of Doom) summer is bidding us adieu tomorrow for some time.  Oh great.  Just in time for my afternoon by the river on Friday, watching some fit blokes rowing up and down whilst scoffing scones at breakneck speed (me, not them), washed down with Prosecco and PG (again, still me). It's quite posh, so a hat is needed for the afternoon.  I have a couple of frocks which may or may not fit come Friday (depends on whether the 'Air and Dust Diet' achieves anything this week) so I have bought a hat which will go with either one.  The trouble is, the label inside the hat states that it isn't waterproof.  

So what do I do?  There are several options:

1. Wear a second hat on top of the hat, preferably waterproof and colour-coordinated
2. Carry an umbrella over non-water-resistant hat all afternoon
3. Tie one of those plastic rain bonnets over the hat, and fasten ties under chin, running risk of looking like an extra from Fiddler on the Roof 
4. Don't wear hat

There is one more option.  If the rain resembles something which Noah might have experienced, I have a lovely blue balaclava which will do the trick.  

I wonder if the hat shop will refund me my £12.00...


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