Well hello December.....the month of family togetherness, thoughtful gifting, cuddling up around the fire and delicious food. A time to spend relaxing with your loved ones with lazy lie ins and marshmallows toasting on the fire.
At least that is how it is for anyone who isn't a bloody mother...
Now I love Christmas, I really do, but as time has gone by, and the children have got older, I have noticed that as they all migrate back home for the festive season, my work levels go through the roof. It's actually started already. Here's what I have covered so far:
Advent calendars purchased for four children, two partners and five housemates (I never get one). These will be completely demolished before the weekend, if they haven't been eaten already.
Three Christmas cakes and six Christmas puddings made. I have no idea why I have made six puddings. I used to make these for a living, and presume that I am now only able to cook in kilos rather than grams. As I am one of only two people in my house who actually likes Christmas pudding, I anticipate a rapid limiting of clothes which fit as the month continues, with a black bin liner being the only option left to me for New Year's Eve. I will also be chewing on Rennies for much of the holiday.
Christmas presents for the children. Daughter number two has given me an extensive list with website links and prices thoughtfully provided, as befitting a future Financial Advisor. Son number one sent me three things, helpfully adding sizes, and reminding me that as it was Black Friday, I'll probably get some discount. I think his way of thinking is that if I get discount, he'll get more presents...silly boy.
Secret Santa for work. Present ordered. Only three weeks left of dreading what someone has bought me.
Secret Santa for adult family (kids are still dragging their feet to join this group as it means only one present) has been done. My list of six things written out and handed over to Miss R, who is in charge of this.
So far, so good. But what children, and husbands, to some extent forget, that there is still cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing to do all over Christmas. Where is the bloody Christmas Fairy when you want her? That's right, on the top of the tree with a glittery frock and a piece of Nordic Pine sticking up her drawers. If only she could wave that wand just as I drop off to sleep and magic all the jobs away while I sleep, that would be great. Mind you, if I had to put up with what she does, I may also be a bit reluctant to help out.
Of course, I must allow for the fact that the husband has a job.
He buys the tree.
He erects the tree.
He checks the lights (Blue Job).
He walks away from the tree.
I decorate it, sweep up the moulting needles, replace fallen decorations (with Reg, there will be less of the fallen, but more of the ripped off and mauled) then three weeks later, I take all the decorations off and cut the boughs of the tree off, usually with the loudest saw I can find, as tree dropping day is usually on New Year's Day, and we wouldn't want everyone else to have a lay-in, would we...
And the children? They also have just one thing to do over Christmas...