Thursday, 10 November 2016

Life for rent...

I was most relieved yesterday morning, to see that the large body part hadn't dropped off my icing man overnight. The spaghetti was holding it all together beautifully.  I still have the writing to do on the cake, but I'm steeling myself up for this afternoon, because as well as the obligatory 'Happy Birthday' it also has some foul language on it.  Not too sure how my delicate nature is going to cope with that later on, but I'll do my best.  I may have to shut my eyes as I write out the words.  Trouble is, it might come out as 'Hippy Bathday' which could be interesting.

Son number two has still not come down from his pink fluffy employment cloud as yet, and is mentally calculating what his first pay check will be.  As we discussed his salary, the question of rent came up.  Now this is a tricky one, as historically, I have never charged any of my children rent.  But this time it's different as he is earning a substantial salary, so more than able to afford a bit of rent.  I told him that I didn't want any money from him, but he was insistent, asking me to think about it and come back to him with a figure.

Well this set the old grey matter going.  And I started listing all the chargeable services he currently receives free of charge.

Food - The biggest expenditure of all.  When he left for university, my food bill reduced by a hundred pounds a week. No longer was I hauling a trolley around Tesco with precariously balanced sugar-based foods spilling over the top like the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.  While he was away, I turned into a trendy basket lady, often paying cash for my purchases which barely covered the bottom of the basket. I suppose it's safe to say then, that £100 per week is a good starting point for the food.

Living Accommodation - A house my size would cost around £500 a week to rent.  As there are only four of us in here at the moment, his share would be £125.00 per week.  I know he'll nit-pick about the two empty rooms courtesy of son number one and daughter number two, but this forms part of the Housewife's Perks Charter.  This Charter also includes ownership of any money found in unchecked pockets, in case you're wondering what else is on there.  I am able to supplement my weekly budget quite substantially on occasions (usually when drink has been involved, or the kids are at home).

Laundry Service - I reckon three service washes a week which amounts to £75.00.  This doesn't include the extra charge I would make for turning jeans in the right way, or undoing shirt buttons, but bearing in mind the cost for living accommodation, I'll swallow that extra bit.

Cleaning Service - his share £20.00.  Actually, this isn't strictly true, but as he makes more mess than me and the other two in the house put together, I reckon that's fair.

So all in all, I reckon he needs to pay me £220.00 a week rent. 

I just hope that this job has the option for overtime...
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