Disaster struck the house yesterday morning. You'll remember that I have been trying to train Reg not to eat my home furnishings one room at a time. When I leave the house each morning (after giving the dogs a 45 minute walk I might add) I close the doors to all the rooms which I want to keep whole. This includes the lounge. Now Reg has already made some inroad into my expensive rug in there, but not so bad that the rug needs to be replaced.
Yesterday, what with it being Saturday, I left home early to head over to Marlow to meet Miss R for breakfast. I had a hair appointment booked and I have to quickly tell you about the man who was sitting next to me at the basin. You know how much I hate seeing men in the salon, and every time one of them opens their mouths in earshot, it just reinforces my opinion that they should be banned. So, back to the bloke at the basin. The Saturday girl had asked him whether he had washed his hair recently. Well yes he had, so wouldn't be needing any shampoo, just wanted it rinsed through. She persisted. Just one shampoo then. He retaliated with a firm no, as he had only just washed it. And then came her killer question...
'What did you wash it with sir?'
'Radox body wash.
'That's for your body sir, not your hair'.
'Oh it's all the same stuff...'
'No it isn't sir, otherwise it would be called Hair and Body Wash. Now lie back and let me do my job'.
Well that told him.
Anyway, back to the house. When I got home, there wasn't the usual chaotic greeting at the front door which was strange. It had crossed my mind that perhaps the husband had the dogs with him, but as I opened the door, the barking started. It was coming from the lounge, the doors of which were firmly closed. Taking a deep breath, I opened the doors and released the dogs, who were glad to see me (understatement of the year). Walking into the lounge, there was evidence that they had been there for some time...
The rug had been given a good going over, with great big bald patches where once a pattern had been. My log basket was now three cornered, the fourth being reduced to a soggy pulp, and my cuddly schnauzer toy (don't ask) had been stripped of his scarf, and half of his beard.
I called the husband to find out what had happened after I left. Well apparently, he had closed the lounge doors, but hadn't noticed the two schnauzers who were planning world domination from behind the sofa.
'I did wonder where they were', was his bemused comment.
He's lucky I love him, that's all I'm going to say...