Many of you will know that the husband is at his happiest when he has some kind of power tool in his hand. Yesterday, it was the turn of the hedge trimmer. Before you ask, he wasn't embarking on some new venture in hairdressing. Instead, he had decided to cut our hedge, the one which separates the house from the road. We had been talking about cutting it back a little to let more light in, but I had no idea what he was actually planning, what with hedge trimming falling into the Blue Job category and all that.
I left him to it this morning, as I was involved in one of two walks for Schnauzerfest (www.facebook.com/SchnauzerfestUK/about/ - take a look at what they do). I was meeting lovely Mrs S from work with her family and dog Alfie, along with several other miniature schnauzer owners to walk up the Clumps (I know this sounds vaguely rude, but it is a real place, I promise you).
Setting out with fifteen schnauzers and Alfie, everything was going really well, until Percy spotted the two temptresses, Polly and Ruby, walking ahead. It was at this point that the memories of last year came flooding back. Percy refused to leave the two girls alone, but whereas last year, he was content with a little ear nibbling, this year he had moved on to full scale humping. After several attempts to divert his attention from Ruby's rear end, I eventually decided that he needed to go on the lead so as not to ruin the girls' day out. This was fine when the girls were in front of us as Percy trotted along quite nicely. However, when they fell behind, Percy simply sat down and refused to budge an inch. There was serious dragging involved, but in the end I resigned myself to being Tail End Charlie.
Reg meanwhile was fantastic (no one was more surprised than me, I can tell you) and was playing with everyone, paying special attention to a gorgeous schnauzer called Herman. Two hours of this, and Reg was almost asleep on his feet, and the two of us were very relieved to get in the car and head home. Percy was still intent on spending a last few moments with/on Ruby, and has probably got a raw behind from that last drag across the gravelled car park.
When we got home, the husband was in the drive, just about to start on the hedge. I meanwhile, having dragged a sexually frustrated schnauzer for over four miles, was ready for a cup of tea and a snooze. I was just dropping off when the husband burst in through the front door, demanding that I come and see what he'd done.
The hedge was gone completely, with just a few branches left to start the new hedge from. There were massive gaps, and I told him that it looked like a row of bombed houses.
'Have any of the neighbours seen this?' I asked him, silently mourning the loss of my hedge.
'Yes, they've all been down', he said.
'What did they think of what you've done then?'
'Funnily enough, they all said exactly the same thing', he said.
'What was that then?' I asked, presuming that there would have ben some comments about going too far too soon.
Apparently my neighbours had asked something along the lines of 'Does Tracy know?'
Well I suppose I did know what he was doing, but I hadn't anticipated the end result being so drastic. Never mind, it will grow back I suppose, but in the meantime, I'll have to look at this from my window everyday and remind myself of the Blue Job Rulebook.
Never let them work unsupervised...