Saturday, 15 October 2016

Dog eat dog...

Now that Reg, the psychopath Miniature Schnauzer, has been with us for six months, I thought I'd update you on how he is doing.  When the husband and I decided to get another dog, we assumed that the new puppy would be the same as Percy. Big mistake...

Now Percy is the perfect dog.  He is polite, friendly and gentle.  He doesn't jump up, scrounge for food or bark unless necessary.  He has his bad points, one of which is that he can be rather aloof.  He quite likes a fuss and a scratch, but when he's had enough, he lets you know by just wandering off.  So you can see, we were hoping to replicate this with our new addition.

Six months down the line, life is very different in the house...or what's left of it.  Let me tell you what the little bastard (as he is affectionately known) has done so far to my lovely home...

Lounge
Rug chewed leaving soggy corner which will never lie flat again
Decorative apples made of leaves chewed which now resemble road kill
Stairs
Four steps chewed to date.  Carpet has now has fringing, with underlay revealed in places.
Bedroom 1
Antique chest at end of bed has one chewed corner.  Husband will need to sand as splinters an issue
Expensive hairdryer is now without directional nozzle
Slippers gone - hoover needed to get all of what was left of them off the carpet
Three pairs of flip flops - See slippers
Bedroom 2
Carpet gone between bedroom and bathroom.  Underlay also exposed and chewed
Office/Ironing Room
Second rug chewed and disposed of as not fit to be seen ever again
Hangers have been stolen and chewed, turning up in strange places such as under pillows
Miscellaneous Fatalities
Madagascan Dragon Tree is clinging onto life after vigorous and repetitive digging
Antique velvet clutch bag looks like the moths have been at it
Wellies - one missing presumed dead
Receipts and bills - eaten
Close Calls
My dinner - after jumping on to the kitchen table via my knee
A necklace hanging off my full length mirror - managed to save both with seconds to spare
Toes - chewed and can no longer be in the same company as Reg un-socked

So with all this destruction going on, it was time I took the bull by the horns.  This explains why the trip to the pet shop yesterday afternoon cost me over £100.  I have sprays, plug-ins, challenging toys and even some tablets which are meant to calm dogs down, and I have my fingers crossed that The Demolition Derby currently taking place in my house will soon end.

Reg does have one redeeming feature though, which is possibly all that's keeping him here.  He really loves us, and wants nothing more than to sit on one of us and be stroked, whilst gazing lovingly into whoever's eyes belong to the lap he's currently occupying. 

I have mentioned to the husband that it might be a good idea for Reg to be 'seen to' .  He usually gets very twitchy looking when this subject comes up as the husband thinks I might have plans for him too.  I don't know why, as the vet very rarely has a 'Buy one, get one free' offer on.  But he keeps telling me that Reg is just a pup, and 'he'll grow out of it'.  Any more helpful comments like that and I'll be lacing his coffee with some of those tablets. 

You know, they just might stop him flitting around the bedroom at night slapping the walls, and if that doesn't work, well there's always Plan B...

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