Tuesday, 9 August 2016

Beauty and the beast...

Something happened on Saturday which made me realise that my body is falling apart far more quickly than I originally thought.  Prior to leaving for the beach on Saturday, I had very hurriedly shaved my legs - these have not really been seen in public for some time, so you imagine that the bic razor had its work cut out. 

Stretching out on the beach pebbles later that day, you can only begin to imagine my horror at seeing the five o'clock shadow which stretched from my ankles to my knees.  I just couldn't fathom it out at all, as even with a quick going over, a new razor always does the job.  Then the penny dropped.  I hadn't realised that the protective cover was still on, so it was the equivalent of shaving my legs with a banana. Once I got over the shame, it actually wasn't too bad having legs like Chewbacca for the afternoon as the wind picked up around 4.00 and it meant I didn't have to put my trousers again.  That will teach me to leave the varifocals off when I shave...

So this set me thinking about other changes to my beauty regime which have become necessary as time has galloped on..

1. As per the above, I must always wear glasses when shaving legs.  Extra care is needed if in the shower as steaming up is a health and safety issue.

2. Always take x10 magnifying mirror wherever I go.  This is so heavy that on occasions, it has been necessary to leave important things behind, like a third pair of wedges or one of the children.

3. Tweezers must also accompany me at all times.  My hair has the unfortunate habit of waiting till I am on a posh night out before having a growth spurt.  (Ladies, you will completely identify with this.  Gentlemen, look away now...).  My chin, if not checked on an hourly basis, can do a passable impression of Catweazle and has been know to lacerate the husband's chin when a kiss is offered. 

4.  A change in foundation has been necessary - the cover-all creams of yesteryear are no good if you have wrinkles.  My forehead started to look like a furrowed field so a move towards tinted moisturizer has been made (in the absence of tinted Polyfilla, which I think would do rather well..)

5.  Putting blusher on the 'apples' of my cheeks is no longer all it takes to give me that 'glow'.  I have read up on where to put strategic stripes of powder to diminish jowls and under-eye bags.  Without proper blending this can make me look a little like Adam Ant, so I now have a cornucopia of brushes simply for this purpose.

Of course, the husband thinks that I look lovely all the time, or at least that's what he says.  Maybe he's too frightened to ask me if I'm going all French on him?

Now that would be brave....
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