Believe it or not, tonight is yet another 'Big Night Out'. The husband has the dubious honour of taking Miss R, Mrs S and me up to the bright lights of London to a 1920's themed nightclub. Of course, dressing up is obligatory, and this week has seen us three girls getting our costumes ready for tonight.
Miss R was very organised, and ordered her dress last week. Thinking that she had loads of time, she didn't spend money on the next day delivery option, and consequently the outfit only turned up on Thursday. It is lilac. Not the most flattering of colours for ladies under 76 and apparently, the straps are elastic. Now Miss R is particularly well endowed in the bosom area, and I am slightly worried that the elastic might not hold. Miss R is renowned for her dance moves whilst under the influence, and I think I may pack a couple of industrial sized safety pins just in case all hell breaks loose (I am referring to the dress) around 11.00pm. Her dress has less fringing on it now since she got it out of the packaging, and apparently she spent five minutes stamping on one yesterday morning, thinking it was a spider. Note to sister....put your glasses on before getting out of bed...
Mrs S, the most organised woman I know, already had an appropriate outfit. Now she's had other things on her mind this week, and I am hoping that she's been paying attention when I have been chatting about the dress code. I have my fingers crossed that she didn't mishear 'flapper' as something else, and turn up in something she wore in 1996 to a Vicars and Tarts event. That could be a little awkward (especially as she probably went as a vicar).
And as for me, well the original dress I ordered, which resembled a bell tent, has been consigned to that pile of 'things to take back'. It's completely naked of any fringing, as while I was trying it on, Reg (the puppy who hasn't quite got all four feet under the table as yet) decided to swing on the fringing, resembling a rather hairy Chair-o-Plane. Having peeled him off the dress, he continued to have a fine old time with the fringing, resembling Fu-Man-Chu for the rest of the afternoon.
I had also bought a wig. It looked great in the picture....It looked terrible on me. Not so much 1920's bob, more like Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons. That also went in the infamous 'things to take back' pile. (We all know it's really the bin). A second panic buy dress turned up yesterday afternoon. This was much better, and will get worn tonight with a feather head dress, pearls, and a foot long cigarette holder.
The husband, who is not the biggest fan of the dressing up cupboard is wearing his dinner suit, his one concession to the 1920's theme, a pair of braces. I am just hoping that they're more robust than Miss R's dress straps.
I can only carry so many safety pins, you know...