Friday, 3 June 2016

What a waste...

If anyone ever asks me what the best day of my life was, it would normally involve one of my children, or the husband.  Up till yesterday....

On Thursday, I spent the day on a waste lorry, collecting rubbish from the businesses of the Home Counties.  Now I know that there are those of you reading this now, thinking 'Crazy woman', but I promise you, it was just brilliant, and I would imagine that I will be grinning till Tuesday at least.

We left the Depot at around 4.30am.  Being the super-organised lady that I am, I had laid out my clothes the night before.  The bright blue trousers and sweatshirt coupled with a hi-vis waistcoat and steel toecap boots would not necessarily have been my outfit of choice for the day, but a skirt and a pair of kitten heels may not have been helpful when climbing in and out of the cab. 

Poor Graham was the driver whose 'mate' I was for the day.  I had already apologised to him the day before, as I reckoned I would bore the pants off him by mid morning, and possibly make his ears bleed by then end of the shift.  He was great though, teaching me which buttons to press, and when to press them.  (No one wants an 'UP' when they need a 'DOWN' do they?)

The highlight of my morning was at Henley Town Market.  The banter was flowing as the chaps are not used to seeing a female 'on board' (truck lingo, in case you're wondering).  Based on what they were saying, I think that they might have appreciated the skirt and kitten heels...  You see, at the tender age of 52, it's quite lovely being called a glamorous assistant, especially when you're anything but (see hi-vis jacket etc)  and they were suitably impressed, if not a little shocked, when I hoisted a few bags of rubbish into the back of the truck.  (I'm obviously stronger than I look).

The day ended around 2.00pm. 

So my legs, having carried me in and out of the truck around 72 times, were like a couple of packs of Chiver's Jelly, while my hands, having been in gloves all day were dry, with a couple of chipped nails.  My shoulders were hurling abuse at each other (should have listened more carefully to my training on 'How to Push a Wheelie Bin' the day before.  Instead, I was hopping from one foot to the other in a state of giddy anticipation) and most importantly, I was desperate for a pee. 

This was always going to be a problem, as, unlike Graham, I couldn't go against the rear wheel.  Well, perhaps I could, but I would have run the risk of arrest for indecent exposure, and could well have put Graham off his hot chocolate and Topic/Maltesers/Star Bar/Twix....Graham has a sweet tooth as you can probably tell.  To tell the truth, his packed lunch was mainly chocolate, with a random sausage roll and cereal bar thrown in as a 'healthy option'. 

I'm not saying that I could do this every day (too old and too female), but Graham, if ever you need a mate on board again....

It's a 'yes' from me.......
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