Thursday, 12 May 2016

Bibbidi-bobbidi boo...

Words from a Bird.  Day 133

So dresses 5, 6, 7 and 8 turned up yesterday.  All completely returnable before you accuse me of being made of money.  Of these four, surely one would be suitable for the Drifters Ball?

I approached the beautifully wrapped packages with apprehension, the memories of yesterday's dress debacles still vivid in my mind.  Dress number 5 was from Lipsy.  Now before you say anything, I know and fully appreciate that the Lipsy brand is targeted at females with many less miles on the clock than I have, but the one I ordered looked suitable.  Off came the work clothes and on went the royal blue slinky number. 

Well, I think that the seamstress who cobbled this creation together ran out of thread on the side seam. The split went right up to my thigh.  Now if I was over 6 feet tall, this would have been quite decent, but as an average height female, there was ample sight of my M&S knickers (or is that 'sight of my ample M&S knickers'?)  If this was all that was wrong with the dress, I could maybe have popped a couple of stitches in myself to preserve my modesty, but dear God, the front.... 

As I revealed yesterday, I am not particularly blessed in the bosom department (my mum used to joke about writing 'back' and 'front' on me as there was no way of distinguishing which was which) so when I looked down at the plunging V-neck of this dress, rather than a voluptuous cleavage as per the lady in the advert, all I could see were my feet.  Of course, if I were younger, my bosom might have positioned itself accordingly, but at 53?  Not a chance..

Dresses number 6 and 7 were the same dress, just different sizes, as I know from previous experience that my body can go either way with this shop.  A full length black lace number with sequins and beads across the bodice.....and a zip which wouldn't do up.  No problem.  This was the smaller one, so the larger one should be spot on.  Popped this one on, eagerly awaiting my Eureka moment.  Zip still wouldn't do up....Well done Next, you excelled yourself.  Two size 12's....

One package left. 

Bracing myself, I opened up the box.  Anything from Coast comes beautifully wrapped, as though you are the most important customer in the world, and even though this dress was in their sale, it still got the 5* treatment.  Gently removing it from swathes of tissue paper, I shook it out.   Stunning.  As someone who has always felt she was born too late, the 1950's style was perfection, and it fit like a glove.  I even had the kitten heel stilettos and black clutch bag to finish it off.

I smiled. 

Cinderella, you shall go to the ball..
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