Skip to main content

Perfect day...

Words from a Bird.  Day 83

My day didn't start well....I am not the best arguer in the world, but whilst juicing this morning, son number 2 managed to rile me to such a level that I chucked a tub of fruit across the worktop.  Why is it, that whenever I lose my temper, it's only ever me that has to clear up after myself.  I have a very clear memory of launching an open packet of icing sugar into the air, which was in response to a particularly violent spat between daughter number 2 and son number 2 over a couple of Playmobile figures (this was years ago in case you're wondering). 

When the dust finally settled (literally) I was left looking at two mini old age pensioners, white from head to toe.   Obviously I couldn't laugh, and worse still, I couldn't make them clear it up, so yet again, down to yours truly.  They were sent to the rooms, looking like two extras from Rentaghost, leaving white footprints across the hall.  My kitchen floor resembled that of a skanky night club for a week.  All it was missing was the odd fag end, some broken glass and a load of blokes lurking in the corner waiting to make their move in the 'Erection Section'.  This was my teenage phrase for the last dance of the night at the disco.  Not many of you will know that this is where I met the husband at the age of 16.  He did quite of a lot of lurking that night...

So back to this morning.  I left home in not too favourable a mood, mulling over what son number 2 had declared about 'not having enough time to do anything'.....It would appear that I can fill two of my hours with fourteen of his, and that's being conservative.  Perhaps I would be able to do as little as he does if I started sleeping at night and watching TV.  What do you think?

My journey to work, three minutes when I can listen to a bit of chat and half a song if I'm lucky, was marred by an incident at the zebra crossing.  Don't you just love it when you're patiently waiting for the fat kid on the scooter to cross, while his mum stands some way behind, completely oblivious to you.  All credit to the kid though, he kept looking at his mum to gee her up a bit (looking at the size of her, a pasty might have swung it), but nothing was working. 

As I made the decision to continue my journey, she then decided to launch herself at the crossing with a speed which was impressive for someone who probably hasn't seen her feet for many years.  No acknowledgement of the fact that I had been waiting for almost a minute (it sounds petty when I say it now, but you try sitting that long with a queue of traffic behind you).  Winding the window down (this was a bad idea, I know that now) as she reached the other side, I said with a smile...

'I've been waiting quite a while for you to cross.  A thank you might have been nice'.

'Oh f**k off, you stuck up cow...'

How lovely......

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I can't stand the rain...

The bloody rain's back then...
I suppose that this is a blessing of some sorts as it means that my hosepipe will get a well earned weekend off, and the flowers won't be looking at me through the kitchen window, wondering whether there will be any chance of me getting off my derriere and giving them a drink sometime before the next millennium.  Talking of watering flowers, I haven't had any feedback from Mrs B next door as to the complete transformation of her front garden while she's been away.  I would imagine that after two glamorous weeks away, that she will have more than enough washing to do, and perhaps hasn't had the opportunity to do a full horticultural inspection as yet.
I finally got round to cleaning Charlie out yesterday afternoon. Armed with a bin liner and some sweet smelling multi surface cleaner, I gingerly opened the door.  Oh dear Lord....it is amazing just how much detritus eight adults can make over five and a half hours, and I soon realised that…

In da club...

Boy was I glad to see the end of this week.  What with the football, the weeping colleagues (just the male ones as the female variety were quite cock-a-hoop) and the incessant watering of myself as well as the allotment, my garden, and a neighbour's garden (a greenhouse, thirty tubs, four cacti, seven bowls of hedgehog water and a scoop of mealworms each day....in the hottest fortnight on record).  Throw into the mix some rather frustrating conversations with someone who shall go unnamed, I was very glad to leave Binland on Friday afternoon.
But there have been good things too.  And isn't that what life is about?  There's no point having good things if you don't have the bad to compare them to.
I spent a lovely two hours with the Mother on Thursday discussing plants, allotments and beetroot, and I'd like to think that the highlight of her afternoon was digging up a couple to take home for her dinner that night. Or maybe it was the contraband tomato I smuggled out …

I'm walking...

Having been knocked flattish by a sore throat and all of its accompanying delights, I was quite anxious as to whether I'd be able to rally for Schnauzerfest yesterday.  I'd pulled out all the stops with cakes and dog biscuits, and was desperate to do my favourite good cause justice.  

But oh happy day... I woke up yesterday feeling quite normal (stop laughing, you know what I mean) and I loaded the car and drove to Wittenham Clumps (yes, it's a real place!) Getting there early with Miss R and Mrs S we gave the dogs a quick walk before all the other walkers turned up.  The sky, which had been threatening an apocalypse, finally decided to show its good side, and the sun shone as we got ready for everyone else to turn up. 

Now I have been doing some serious whistle training with my two for the past month or so.  This basically means blowing a whistle and shaking a bag of cheese cubes, and I was optimistic about finally letting my two off so that they could run free with the res…