Monday, 28 March 2016

Eve of destruction.....

Words from a Bird.  Day 88

Reg has been in our lives for two weeks now.  We are now where we wanted to be, with Reg and Percy being good mates (albeit mates where one mate gets a little hacked off if the other mate pesters too much).  However, as the time has gone on, and the relationship with Percy has improved, my house and belongings have suffered as follows:

1.  The large Madagascan Dragon Tree, which has been happily living in my kitchen for the last 10 years has been 'got at'.  After removing Reg from the earth for the hundredth time this morning, I came up with the bright idea of cling filming the pot, so that he couldn't get anywhere near it.  This worked for exactly 47 seconds before he started to suck on the cling film.  The tree is now on my desk, its higher branches bent over against the ceiling.  The good thing about this is that the loose electric socket which the plant was hiding, has been replaced by the husband today - every cloud, and all that...

2.  The kitchen waste bin has been turned around so that the flap is facing inwards.  This makes disposing of any rubbish almost impossible, but is does stop Reg from hanging off the front, his legs off the ground, and snout in the bin.

3.  My office bin has been raided on several occasions, with Reg making the shredder surplus to requirements.  The bin is also now on my desk.

4. The rug under my desk now has a beautifully sucked corner, which I only discovered yesterday.  I thought he was quiet under there.  Time is teaching me that quiet = bad.  The rug is now rolled up and is on the printer cupboard next to my desk.  Its width dictates that it encroaches onto my desk, and it is fighting for space with the Dragon Tree and my waste paper bin.  I have given up using my desk for any writing or work, and have resorted to using my knees.

5.  I have no tea towels left.  These have been dragged off the oven rail and are now residing in the flower bed (the unweeded one which means I won't see them until the end of the summer).

6.  There are fourteen small holes on my lawn where 'Digger Reg' has been practising for future bone burying.  He goes at these with such a frenzy that there is no divot to put back into the hole, just a turf equivalent of sawdust.

7.  Two jumpers have been consigned to the bin, after Reg used the sleeves as an adventure playground when I was ironing, swinging off them like Tarzan at the end of an oversized creeper.

8.  He is now able to scale the barrier erected to keep him in the utility room, sneaking out for surprise raids on Percy as he sleeps.  (Percy has got wise to the fact that Reg can't get onto the sofa, so now sleeps there, confident that he will be left in peace, all the while surreptitiously flicking the V's at Reg.

So not too much destruction overall.  The furniture's still intact as are my fingers and ankles.  We're probably over the worst.

Stop laughing....
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